Wednesday, June 7, 2006

Sexual Dysfunction

The opponents of same-sex marriage have come up with some interesting reasons for amending the Constitution. Dana Milbank reports:

“The gays are aggressive! Gays have called war! Gays are attacking traditional marriage!”

Bishop Harry Jackson was shouting these words outside the Capitol yesterday morning, at a rally for a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage.

Gays are aggressive? Sure, some are. And some are submissive. It depends on what you’re into. Seriously, though, Bishop, when you try to reduce an entire class of people to second class, you bet we’re going to fight for our rights.

“Marriage is under attack!” cried out Sen. Wayne Allard (R-Colo.), also at the rally.

Yes, the 50% divorce rate is sad, as are the frivolous marriages of people like Britney Spears, and deadbeat dads.

“We can have anarchy!” warned Rep. Katherine Harris (R-Fla.).

And if you order before midnight, you also can have a set of matching steak knives.

Here’s the best one:

“If we didn’t believe in miracles, we wouldn’t have spent our vacation money to come here,” said Sandra Rodrigues of Utah, who with her family has been standing outside the Russell Senate Office Building all week, shouting at senators and displaying signs urging “Stop Same Sex Marriage: It Endorses Masturbation.” “If same-sex marriage is endorsed,” she explained, “then you’re going to have children think it’s just another option to have pleasure.”

Same-sex marriage endorses masturbation? Okay, I don’t even want to go there except to say that being married to someone who carries a sign like that would probably encourage masturbation. As for “another option to have pleasure,” well, it sounds like the Rodrigues house is just one little love nest of marital bliss. Frankly, if that’s her idea of marriage, who’d want it?

The big hang-up for the opponents of same-sex marriage isn’t the marriage itself. It’s the idea of gay sex, which, in their minds, is icky. That says a lot about these peoples’ ideas of sex, period, which they see as something evil and dirty. It also tells me that their focus isn’t on the commitment and support people give each other in marriage. This adolescent obsession with the physical aspects of a relationship indicates they are the ones with arrested development and a seriously unhealthy attitude about one of the most wonderful things about being human.

My guess is that it comes from their puritanical religious upbringing and misreading of the Bible, which is filled with a lot of begatting, not to mention some pretty hot writing: check out the “Song of Solomon” sometime; he apparently had a lot to sing about. Whatever the cause, it is sad that these ignorant tightasses are taken seriously by anybody in Congress except for those who have their own little fetishes and dysfunctions. Instead of having an intelligent conversation about ensuring the rights of all Americans — as the president says, the “right of everyone to live their lives as they see fit” — they’re hung up on something that they obviously lack: a loving, caring, and healthy life in every aspect.

So, who are the perverts here?