Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Animal Magnetism

What is wrong with these people?

Sponsors of legislation in Missouri that would eliminate discussions of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people in public schools and prohibit teachers from addressing bullying based on sexual orientation told the Huffington Post that they “do not want the homosexual agenda taught in the schools.” Rep. Dwight Scharnhorst (R), a co-sponsor of the so-called Don’t Say Gay bill, argued that sexual orientation issues “should be taught by parents, clergy and physician” and warned that teaching about LGBT issues would lead to other discussions. “There is no need to talk about Billy wanting to marry a goat,” he said. [Emphasis added.]

First, I just got back from a meeting of the board of directors of the Radical Homosexual Agenda, and all we talked about was our secret plan to sneak into every house in Scottsdale and redecorate. And since goats can’t sign a contract — something to do with cloven hooves — marriage between humans and ruminants is out. We didn’t even bring it up.

Second, I am both repulsed and fascinated by someone with such a fevered imagination that he would come up with the image of “Billy wanting to marry a goat.” (Would that be redundant?) Did that just pop into this elected official’s mind, or is it something he’s been lying awake at night dreaming worrying about?

I don’t want to fall into the stereotype of what might go on in the barnyards of rural Missouri, but Mr. Scharnhorst isn’t helping to dispel it.