The Senate passed the Violence Against Women Reauthorization Act of 2011 by a vote of 68 to 31. Would you be surprised if I told you that the 31 votes against the bill came from the Republicans? I didn’t think so.

Sens. John Barrasso (R-WY), Roy Blunt (R-MO), John Boozman (R-AR), Richard Burr (R-NC), Saxby Chambliss (R-GA), Tom Coburn (R-OK), Thad Cochran (R-MS), John Cornyn (R-TX), Jim DeMint (R-SC), Mike Enzi (R-WY), Lindsey Graham (R-SC), Chuck Grassley (R-IA), Orrin Hatch (R-UT), Jim Inhofe (R-OK), Johnny Isakson (R-GA), Mike Johanns (R-NE), Rob Johnson (R-WI), Jon Kyl (R-AZ), Mike Lee (R-UT), Dick Lugar (R-IN), Mitch McConnell (R-KY), Jerry Moran (R-KS), Rand Paul (R-KY), Jim Risch (R-ID), Pat Roberts (R-KS), Marco Rubio (R-FL), Jeff Sessions (R-AL), Richard Shelby (R-AL), Jim Thune (R-SD), Pat Toomey (R-PA), Roger Wicker (R-MS)

I’m sure each and every one of these noble defenders of the patriarchy has a good explanation for their No vote, including the fact that it extends the protections of the law to same-sex couples and undocumented workers. Everybody knows that people in icky homosexual cohabitation and fornication get what they deserve, so why should the government protect them? If you’re undocumented, well, it’s your own fault; you shouldn’t be here in the first place.

According to John McCain, there is no War on Women anyway; it’s just a political ploy to get the ladies to vote for Democrats. After all, the Republicans love women to the point that they’re willing to let them earn less money, avoid the humiliation of seeking help after being assaulted, and spare them the indignity of getting an abortion without a thorough, even probing, medical examination. Anything to protect these gentle flowers of womenhood from the harsh light of equality.