Okay, folks, everyone on stage for the big Democracy number.
This is it. If you haven’t already voted, get out there. If you know people who need a ride or help getting to the polling place, do it. If you have to work, tell your boss that you need to come in late or leave early. (In fact, in a lot of states, it’s required for employers to grant their employees time off to vote without penalty.) If you’re registered and you have the wherewithal to do it, then do it. No excuses.
And for those of you who are of a mind that your vote doesn’t count, or they’re all crooks, or there’s no difference between candidates, or you’re not going to buy into the whole establishment trip of going through the motions of “democracy” when we all know that it’s really controlled by some secret organization that watches and manipulates our every move and it’s all futile and you want no part of it, vote anyway. Piss off the mind controllers for once.
Democracy is messy. It’s supposed to be. It’s designed by people, run by people, and people are human, prone to error, ego, and limited vision at times. That’s why we elect people to do things and help organize and make things work for all of us. Sometimes they screw up. Sometimes they’re in it just for themselves or those they want to impress. But it eventually works out and most of the time for the better. This experiment of America has been doing all right for the last 236 years or so, and we’re getting pretty good at it. And every so often — every two years, as a matter of fact — you get a chance to actually do something about it. And if it’s not exactly to your liking, then make it work. It’s up to you.
Or, as TBogg explains:
Every year in Happy Gumdrop Fairy-Tale Land all of the sprites and elves and woodland creatures gather together to pick the Rainbow Sunshine Queen. Everyone is there: the Lollipop Guild, the Star-Twinkle Toddlers, the Sparkly Unicorns, the Cookie-Baking Apple-Cheeked Grandmothers, the Fluffy Bunny Bund, the Rumbly-Tumbly Pupperoos, the Snowflake Princesses, the Baby Duckies All-In-A-Row, the Laughing Babies, and the Dykes on Bikes. They have a big picnic with cupcakes and gumdrops and pudding pops, stopping only to cast their votes by throwing Magic Wishing Rocks into the Well of Laughter, Comity, and Good Intentions. Afterward they spend the rest of the night dancing and singing and waving glow sticks until dawn when they tumble sleepy-eyed into beds made of the purest and whitest goose down where they dream of angels and clouds of spun sugar.
You don’t live there.
Grow the fuck up.
Now get out there and vote.