Thursday, December 6, 2012

Remote Control

Via JMG, we learn today that One Million Moms, the right-wing guardians of all that is pure and holy, is hawking a device called TVGuardian.

Have you ever been watching what you thought was a good, clean, family movie…only to be ambushed by crude, offensive language? Ever heard God’s name used in vain or Jesus’ name as a cuss word on TV? The leading cable and satellite providers in America KNOW that families and people of faith don’t want obscene language on TV…yet they continue to do NOTHING about it. Now there’s a way YOU can take control over the language in your home: TVGuardian, the only foul language filter available for TV today. TVGuardian is a small box you connect to your TV and it automatically filters out foul language…crude language…sexual language…racial slurs…even God’s name in vain and Jesus’ name used as a cussword!

They want $129 for one of these little devices.

I have one on my TV and doesn’t cost a cent.  It’s called a Mute button.  There’s also something called the Off button.

I wonder what it was like at the TVGuardian factory when they were coming up with the list of “foul language” to include in the blocking software.  That must have been fun: “Hey, what about ‘sanctimonious busybodies’ — should that be on the list?  What about ‘closet case Speedo sniffer’?”

Isn’t it nice that a bunch of right-wing Jesus-shouting control freaks can dictate what you and your family should be watching on TV?  It’s so much better than you having to think for yourself or do your job as a parent.

12 barks and woofs on “Remote Control

  1. There are also internet service providers who filter out objectionable sites at the ISP level, so you don’t accidentally stumble upon something icky. I’m not sure whether they can keep up with the flood or not, though.

    • And is it just me, or don’t those awful silences where “bad language” gets BLEEPed out end up far worse in the imagination than the actual language that’s BLEEPed?

  2. When it comes the Talk Like a Pirate Day, I talk like that all year. You don’t want to hear it, don’t come around me. And what the networks did to Smokey and the Bandit completely ruins the movie. For shame!

  3. Almost forgot: it all sounds a bit too much like “John Spartan, you have been fined one credit for a violation of the Verbal Morality Statute.”

  4. Please identify which programs are family-oriented these days? Dancing With The Stars? The Amazing Race? Spongebob Squarepants? Or the ones with the blood and guts spilling out or hookers being hung up by their whatevers. Programs like CSI perhaps. Or NCIS. Choices choices. I need to know where to go when I order my handy bleeping device so I can protect my delicate ears.

    • Remember, FC, that for these volk, not even children’s television is safe to watch. Remember all the furor over Spongebob “recruiting” kids to “unnatural lifestyles”? Or how Tinkie Winkie of Teletubbies was some cipher for Gay is Good? They won’t be happy until all that’s on the tube is their propaganda – or static.

      And then they’ll start fighting over the content of the propaganda…

  5. Gosh, even wholesome shows like National Geographic won’t be safe. After all, how can you talk about tits and boobies and peckers on a bird show without being bleeped? It’s pornithology.

  6. How does the device distinguish God’s name in vain from God’s name in worship? If the sucker BLEEPed its way through a whole Sunday morning church service, I’d laugh and laugh!

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