Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Russians Know The Truth

The conspiracy theories just keep getting better and better.

What do you get when you combine the president’s ability to secretly kill American citizens and the recent push to restrict gun access? One of the most bizarre anti-Obama conspiracy theories ever—and it takes a lot to win that prize.

Various tea party activists, libertarian websites and other conspiracy-minded Obama haters are claiming that Russian security forces have discovered that Obama is about to unleash “death squads” across America to assassinate defenders of the Second Amendment. According to, one of the sites perpetuating this latest story, Russian intelligence has outlined the whole nefarious plot in a memo for President Vladimir Putin, detailing the Obama’s administration’s dispatch of “VIPER teams…which is the acronym for Visible Intermodal Prevention and Response Team, a programme run by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) and whose agents terrify millions of Americans with Nazi-like Gestapo tactics on a daily basis at airports and who report to the Department of Homeland Security (DHS).” (run by a Florida tea party leader), which echoes the theory promoted by similar sites, maintains that these teams—800 of them, to be precise—are set to “disperse throughout his country in preparation for what Russian intelligence analysts are predicting to be a series of high-profile killings of dissident Americans set to begin as soon as February 22nd.” Obama has apparently been emboldened to launch such an operation by the recent federal court ruling upholding his right to kill American citizens with drone strikes without explaining why.

I get it now.  So the image that President Obama is weak, lazy and not too bright that we’ve been hearing from the righties was really a part of a carefully crafted nefarious scheme to lull us into his clever plot of gun-grabbing and execution by silent drone.  All those noble assault-weapon toting warriors who stood up to the Kenyan Socialist were mysteriously murdered by ultra-secret agents who used to work for ACORN (and perform abortions and gay weddings in their off-time).  If they faked the Sandy Hook massacre, then nothing is beyond the scope of his pure evilness.

I have to admire their ability to tell this tale with a straight face.

4 barks and woofs on “The Russians Know The Truth

  1. Aren’t these the same volk who a couple decades ago wouldn’t have believed the dirty Commie Russkies if they’d said the sky was blue and water was wet?

      • I guess the Scary Black Man in the White House is more dangerous to them than the Less-Scary White Man in the Kremlin. Either that or they’ve managed to convince themselves that the Entire Planet is out to get them (sounds very Libyan/Syrian/Iranian/North-Korean/Zimbabwean, doesn’t it?).

        Racism and paranoia. Two foul tastes that taste foul together.

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