Saturday, May 11, 2013

Meet The Prophet From Minnesota

Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-MN), among her other talents besides getting her eyes to spin counterclockwise and being a beard for her husband, is also a prophet of biblical proportions.

Bachmann: It’s no secret that our nation may very well be experiencing the hand of judgment. It’s no secret that we all are concerned that our nation may be in a time of decline. If that is in fact so, what is the answer? The answer is what we are doing here today: humbling ourselves before an almighty God, crying out to an almighty God, saying not of ourselves but you, would you save us oh God? We repent of our sins, we turn away from them, we seek you, we seek your ways. That’s something that we’re doing today, that we did on the National Day of Prayer, it’s something that we have chosen to do as well on another landmark day later this year on September 11. Our nation has seen judgment not once but twice on September 11. That’s why we’re going to have ‘9/11 Pray’ on that day. Is there anything better that we can do on that day rather than to humble ourselves and to pray to an almighty God?

So we learn a couple of things here.  First, an attack on a consulate in Libya that killed four Americans is the equivalent of an attack on New York and Washington that killed over 3,000 people.  Second, God is a real asshole who has it in for us because those attacks were launched by Muslim radicals and that was his judgment on us for being America with our rap music and gay marriage.

That god has a real wicked sense of humor.