Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Open and Shut

Why does the Secret Service hate the Second Amendment?

A petition by the “Americans for Responsible Open Carry” started last week to allow open carry of firearms at the upcoming Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Ohio, garnered close to 45,000 signatures. These folks wanted to allow every single attendee at the convention to arm themselves. Yup. Great idea. Their reasoning?

“Without the right to protect themselves, those at the Quicken Loans Arena will be sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers, criminals or others who wish to threaten the American way of life.”

The Secret Service shot down all hope of this passing by explaining that, sorry, only law enforcement are able to carry weapons. The rest of you gun nuts will have to leave your weapons at home.

Secret Service spokesman Robert K. Hoback said:

“Title 18 United States Code Sections 3056 and 1752 provides the Secret Service authority to preclude firearms from entering sites visited by our protectees, including those located in open-carry states. Only authorized law enforcement personnel working in conjunction with the Secret Service for a particular event may carry a firearm inside of the protected site.”

I have to imagine the cooler heads at the RNC are breathing a sigh of relief, that they don’t have to take responsibility for this one. Yes, the Secret Service has the last word on security debates regarding events where they are present. Sorry ammosexual Republicans, no guns for you at the Cleveland convention.

And we’ve now learned that this whole petition thing was probably a prank pulled off by someone punking the gun nuts with the petition in the first place.  “Hey, let’s see just how whacko these guys who spend all day oiling and stroking their guns are? [gigglesnort]”

2 barks and woofs on “Open and Shut

  1. “Without the right to protect themselves, those at the Quicken Loans Arena will be sitting ducks, utterly helpless against evil-doers, criminals or others who wish to threaten the American way of life.”

    Who are they imagining is going to attack them–Lex Luthor?

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