Friday, May 19, 2017

Moscow On The Potomac

Time magazine’s current cover.

Reuters:

Michael Flynn and other advisers to Donald Trump’s campaign were in contact with Russian officials and others with Kremlin ties in at least 18 calls and emails during the last seven months of the 2016 presidential race, current and former U.S. officials familiar with the exchanges told Reuters.

The previously undisclosed interactions form part of the record now being reviewed by FBI and congressional investigators probing Russian interference in the U.S. presidential election and contacts between Trump’s campaign and Russia.

Six of the previously undisclosed contacts described to Reuters were phone calls between Sergei Kislyak, Russia’s ambassador to the United States, and Trump advisers, including Flynn, Trump’s first national security adviser, three current and former officials said.

Conversations between Flynn and Kislyak accelerated after the Nov. 8 vote as the two discussed establishing a back channel for communication between Trump and Russian President Vladimir Putin that could bypass the U.S. national security bureaucracy, which both sides considered hostile to improved relations, four current U.S. officials said.

Here’s what I don’t understand, and I’m hoping someone can explain it to me: what’s the attraction for Trump and his minions with Russia?  It’s a huge country with a lot of natural resources like oil and gas and raw materials, but it is still functioning like it’s the 1930’s and still under Stalin.  It makes nothing we want to import: would you buy a Russian car or cell phone or TV?  Do they even make them beyond what they cranked out under Communism?  Unlike China, Russia has not embraced the benefits of capitalism — a booming middle class — without abandoning the strict controls of dictatorship — who needs freedom of the press when you can drive a Maserati into Tienanmen Square?

The only thing Russia has going for it is that it’s ruled by a man who doesn’t take shit from anybody and can pretty much do what he wants and still be considered “duly elected.”  Vladimir Putin is everything Trump is not but would like to be: strong, confident, ruthless with his opponents, able to keep a story straight, and doesn’t care what anyone outside his country thinks of him.  He’s disciplined — when was the last time Putin tweeted his innermost thoughts at 4 a.m.? — and even when he bullshits he at least makes it sound plausible.  He’s even unashamed to show his bald head in public.

But other than the fact that Trump clearly has a teenage-boy style crush on the big badass jock, I don’t get it.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Just Haggling Over The Price

TPM shares some juicy dish about how Kellyanne Conway really felt about shilling for Trump.

The co-hosts of MSNBC’s “Morning Joe,” Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough, claimed on Monday that senior White House adviser Kellyanne Conway used to say she needed a shower after defending Donald Trump on air.

[…]

“I’m just doing this for the money,” Brzezinski interjected.

“‘I’ll be off this soon.’ I don’t know that she ever said ‘I’m doing this for the money,’” Scarborough said. “But she said, ‘This is just my summer vacation, my summer in Europe and basically I’m just going to get through this.’”

“‘But first I have to take a shower because it feels so dirty to be saying what I’m saying.’ I guess she’s just used to it now,” Brzezinski said.

Yeah, well, it doesn’t matter if it’s twenty bucks or a million, it’s still the same job.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Monday, March 20, 2017

Friday, March 17, 2017

Stupid Call

[Scene:  My living room.  Phone rings. I’m bored so I answer it.]

Scammer: I’m calling from Microsoft Windows to tell you that your computer is infected with malware.

Me: How terrible!

Scammer: Yes sir.

Me: I mean, how could this happen?

Scammer: Well, sir, I’m here to help you repair it. Now, please go to your keyboard…

Me: No, I mean, after all these years, how could people still fall for your bullshit? No wonder they elected Trump.

[Click]

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Monday, January 23, 2017

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Short Takes

President Obama visits Berlin on his farewell tour.

Minnesota officer faces manslaughter charges in shooting of unarmed black man.

Terrorism possible in deaths of three U.S. soldiers in Jordan.

Thousands have donated to Planned Parenthood in Mike Pence’s “honor.”

Hillary Clinton speaks up: “Never ever give up.”

Max Scherzer and Rick Porcello — both former Tigers — win Cy Young award.

Friday, September 23, 2016

Friday, July 15, 2016

Epic Trolling

Donald Trump has delayed the announcement of his VP pick because of the attack in France, but if it’s Gov. Mike Pence of Indiana, White House press secretary Josh Earnest has high praise for him.

“I know that Governor Pence did do some important work with the administration to expand Medicaid in his state,” Earnest told reporters when asked what Obama thinks of the governor. “That’s something President Obama has been encouraging Democratic and Republican governors across the country to do.”

Nicely done, Josh.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Craft Projection

Aw, poor guy.

MADISON, Wis. (AP) — Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker says he’s “thrifty” and is offering T-shirts for craft projects while asking donors to help pay off the $1.2 million debt from his short-lived presidential campaign.

The Republican sent an email to donors Sunday saying, “if there is one thing the American people learned about me during our presidential campaign, it is that I am thrifty.” He cites his use of coupons and shopping at sales racks.

The email doesn’t mention more than $90,000 a day was spent on his 70-day presidential run.

Walker’s email says anyone who donates $45 will receive a campaign T-shirt, but size and color requests won’t be honored because of a lack of resources.

Walker says the shirts can be framed or used for “crafty things” like a pillow or bag.

Or cleaning up cat vomit.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Monday, February 29, 2016

Il Douche

Gawker magazine set a trap for Trump.

trump-mussoliniIs Donald Trump a fascist? Experts, historians, and pundits have debated the question for months. One thing has been certain for a while now: He tweets like one. That’s why, last year, Gawker’s Ashley Feinberg created a Twitter bot that would post quotes from the writings and speeches of the Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, but with all of them attributed to businessman and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. This morning, he retweeted that account.

Trump Retweets Mussolini 02-29-16Twitter is Trump’s preferred social media platform for direct communication with his followers, haters, and—most importantly—the journalists who obsessively cover his carnival-like presidential campaign. It’s where Trump goes to personally insult his enemies and opponents, but it’s also where he seeks evidence of his greatness, and regularly retweets (in his idiosyncratic style, quoting entire tweets rather than using the network’s built-in retweet tool) praise for himself.

When asked about it on Meet The Press, Mr. Trump shrugged it off and said it was an “interesting” quote.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

No Fair

Dispatches from the playground indicate that Donald Trump will not show up at tomorrow night’s debate because Megyn Kelly of Fox News is a meanie and a poopy-head.  Nyah.

Fox News, in a rare display of genuine middle-school humor, hit back.

We learned from a secret back channel that the Ayatollah and Putin both intend to treat Donald Trump unfairly when they meet with him if he becomes president — a nefarious source tells us that Trump has his own secret plan to replace the Cabinet with his Twitter followers to see if he should even go to those meetings.

Heh.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Monday, October 12, 2015

Open Carry

This is brilliant.

Students at the University Of Texas at Austin are planning to protest a new law that permits the concealed carry of handguns on campus — with dildos.

The “campus carry” law passed by the Texas legislature and signed by the Governor in June, requires UT Austin and the other campuses in the UT system to allow students to carry guns on campus. It gives the schools some discretion on how to implement the law.

The protest is designed to draw attention to the fact that carrying a dildo to class could be “prohibited expression” under university rules. The rules prohibit “any writing or visual image, or engage in any public performance, that is obscene.”

“You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play,” the organizer, Jessica Jin, wrote.

On Facebook, 1,800 people have registered for the event, which is scheduled for next August when the law goes into effect.

When you get right down to it, it really is all about who’s got the biggest one.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Thursday, July 23, 2015