EURASIAN JAY: Something wrong with thistle seeds?
BLUE JAY: No, that sounds great. It’s just that I had thistle seeds for lunch, so…
EURASIAN JAY: Do you want something else then?
BLUE JAY (sighs): What I want is for you to know what I want.
EURASIAN JAY: Jennifer, please. We have guests.
Silence. Various feather rufflings.
RAVEN: Courtney and I would be down for some carrion.
CROW: Carrion is exactly what I feel like right now. How’d you know, babe?
RAVEN: I just know you, babe.
EURASIAN JAY (coughs): Do you want carrion, Jen?
BLUE JAY: You know I’m vegan, right? Vegans don’t eat carrion.
EURASIAN JAY: Oh, that’s right. You’re vegan. Weird, because I thought vegans aren’t supposed to eat insects.
BLUE JAY: That was like two months ago. I’ve recommitted since then. You try being vegan, it’s harder than it looks.
EURASIAN JAY: Somebody get her a medal.
RAVEN (stretching): Carrion’s pretty good, Jen.
BLUE JAY: I don’t eat carrion. I don’t want carrion. Carrion is off the menu.
Silence. Someone chirps.
BLUE JAY: Why don’t we go to that bird feeder on Elm?
EURASIAN JAY: That place will be packed at this hour.
BLUE JAY: Then we’ll wait. It wouldn’t hurt us to wait. And talk.
All grumble.
EURASIAN JAY: I don’t see what the problem is with thistle seeds.
RAVEN: Here’s the problem: some of us like flavor.
BLUE JAY: Thank you, Steve.
RAVEN: What about some snails? Have you guys ever had invertebrates?
CROW: College boy over here.
RAVEN: I’m trying to be helpful.
BLUE JAY: Hey, we all like nuts. It’s been ages since I’ve had a good nut. I know a great tree.
EURASIAN JAY: Why don’t you guys get nuts and I’ll get thistle seeds?
BLUE JAY: That ruins the whole point of eating together, David.
Silence.