Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Manson Family Values

I can’t get married to a man in Florida (yet) because it would destroy the sanctity of marriage and because two men getting married is just wrong.

But serial murderer Charles Manson can get married to a woman even though he’s in prison for the rest of his life because marriage is a holy institution created by God to preserve the family and protect children.


In fairness, if Charles Manson wanted to marry a man, he’s allowed to in California.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Chicken Word Salad

Speaker John Boehner is outraged that a White House official used a barnyard epithet to describe Benjamin Netanyahu, the Prime Minister of Israel.

Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) on Wednesday said that profanity-laced attacks on Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu from senior Obama administration officials were an implicit reflection of President Obama’s views, adding that the official who called Netanyahu “chickens—” should be fired.


Boehner said that the administration officials should be dismissed. “The president sets the tone for his administration. He either condones the profanity and disrespect used by the most senior members of his administration, or he does not,” Boehner said.

And Mr. Boehner should know because he’s an expert at setting the tone and calling people “chickenshit.”  According to Steve Benen, the Speaker used the term to describe candidate Barack Obama in 2008.  Oh, and now he wants the president to go on an apology tour to Israel.

The White House isn’t in a rush to apologize to anyone.

“[That's] an interesting observation by the Speaker of the House, who has a penchant for using salty language himself,” [Press Secretary Josh] Earnest said. “It’s a little rich to have a lecture about profanity from the Speaker of the House.”

Good to hear from you, Mr. Boehner.  Keep in touch.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word

Even when he’s demonstrably wrong, New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie (R) cannot admit it or even show a tad of humility.  TPM watched him try to extricate himself from his Ebola quarantine fiasco yesterday:

It’s not surprising that he tries to claim he didn’t change the policy. That’s standard for polls, particularly ones like Christie. But he actually claims that the nurse was symptomatic for Ebola (not true) and had a temperature (not true). They held on to her for 24 hours and now that she apparently doesn’t or no longer has Ebola they’re letting her go. Its a tour de force of projectile nonsense, with a high viral load of derp.

Not only that, but he refused to apologize for keeping her in a tent without running water.  (A tent?  WTF?  Don’t they have hospitals in New Jersey?)

Nurse Kaci Hickox is planning to sue.  Good luck; no amount of legal action or medical help will alter the fact that Chris Christie is a sphincter.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Open Door Policy

Via the Washington Post:

The man who jumped the White House fence this month and sprinted through the front door made it much farther into the building than previously known, overpowering one Secret Service officer and running through much of the main floor, according to three people familiar with the incident.

An alarm box near the front entrance of the White House designed to alert guards to an intruder had been muted at what officers believed was a request of the usher’s office, said a Secret Service official who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

The officer posted inside the front door appeared to be delayed in learning that the intruder, Omar Gonzalez, was about to burst through. Officers are trained that, upon learning of an intruder on the grounds — often through the alarm boxes posted around the property — they must immediately lock the front door.

After barreling past the guard immediately inside the door, Gonzalez, who was carrying a knife, dashed past the stairway leading a half-flight up to the first family’s living quarters. He then ran into the 80-foot-long East Room, an ornate space often used for receptions or presidential addresses.

Gonzalez was tackled by a counterassault agent at the far southern end of the East Room. The intruder reached the doorway to the Green Room, a parlor overlooking the South Lawn with artwork and antique furniture, according to three people familiar with the incident.

Yikes.  I know there have been cutbacks at the Secret Service, but WTF?  This follows the revelation that the Secret Service didn’t know that someone had fired seven shots with an assault rifle at the White House and hit the windows in the family quarters until a housekeeper found broken glass.

And it’s not like this particular president hasn’t faced more threats than previous occupants.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Breaking News

The folks at CNN have their priorities.

CNN host Ana Cabrera said on Sunday that it was “heartbreaking” to see images of broken wine bottles after a magnitude 6.0 earthquake hit Napa, California.

In the aftermath of the quake that injured nearly 90 people in Napa alone, Cabrera invited Silver Oak winery CEO David Duncan to talk about photos of broken wine bottles that he had tweeted.

“We did have some damage, a few barrels — we had three barrels fall, and some wine bottles went down,” Duncan explained. “I tweeted a picture this morning.”

“We’re showing it to our viewers right now,” Cabrera pointed out. “It’s heartbreaking to see that image, especially if you are a wine lover. But also knowing that this impacts your livelihood.”

Duncan noted that the earthquake damage was not going to be “that big of a hit” for his winery.

Sure some people were critically injured and houses burned down, but to lose that glorious, crisp, cabernet that goes so well with any dish; oh, the heartbreak.

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Extra Crispy

The phoenix is a mythological bird that bursts into flames, dies, and is reborn from the ashes.  It looks like they have two-thirds of that equation going on at a solar energy plant in California.

Phoenix-4Workers at a state-of-the-art solar plant in the Mojave Desert have a name for birds that fly through the plant’s concentrated sun rays — “streamers,” for the smoke plume that comes from birds that ignite in midair.

Federal wildlife investigators who visited the BrightSource Energy plant last year and watched as birds burned and fell, reporting an average of one “streamer” every two minutes, are urging California officials to halt the operator’s application to build a still-bigger version.

The investigators want the halt until the full extent of the deaths can be assessed. Estimates per year now range from a low of about a thousand by BrightSource to 28,000 by an expert for the Center for Biological Diversity environmental group.

The deaths are “alarming. It’s hard to say whether that’s the location or the technology,” said Garry George, renewable-energy director for the California chapter of the Audubon Society. “There needs to be some caution.”

If they could get chickens to fly by, Col. Sanders would be out of business.

Thursday, July 10, 2014

Beyond Belief

From the Washington Post:

A Manassas City teenager accused of “sexting” a video to his girlfriend is now facing a search warrant in which Manassas City police and Prince William County prosecutors want to take a photo of his erect penis, possibly forcing the teen to become erect by taking him to a hospital and giving him an injection, the teen’s lawyers said. A Prince William County judge allowed the 17-year-old to leave the area without the warrant being served or the pictures being taken — yet.

The teen is facing two felony charges, for possession of child pornography and manufacturing child pornography, which could lead not only to incarceration until he’s 21, but inclusion on the state sex offender data base for, possibly, the rest of his life.

I have a couple of questions.  First, how is it not committing the same felony for the cops to take a picture of a 17-year-old kid’s erection?  Second, how many of the adults involved in this case have been guilty of doing exactly what this kid is accused of?

Saturday, June 28, 2014

Check For Pods

The election results in Oklahoma brought to you by SyFy:

Timothy Ray Murray 06-28-14On Tuesday, Timothy Ray Murray (pictured) challenged longtime incumbent Rep. Frank Lucas (R-OK) for the Republican nomination in Oklahoma’s 3rd Congressional district. Murray lost, but he did manage to pull in 3,442 votes, good for 5.2 percent of the total. Now Murray says he will contest the outcome of the election. Because, he says, Lucas is dead and has been replaced by a “look alike.”

“The election for U.S. House for Oklahoma’s 3rd District will be contested by the Candidate, Timothy Ray Murray,” Murray wrote in a press release posted on his campaign website. “I will be stating that his votes are switched with Rep. Lucas votes, because it is widely known Rep. Frank D. Lucas is no longer alive and has been displayed by a look alike.”

On the website, Murray claims that Lucas and “a few other Oklahoma and other States’ Congressional Members,” were executed “on or about” Jan. 11, 2011 in southern Ukraine.


The bizarre charge was first reported by KFOR TV in Oklahoma City. The station reported that while Oklahoma election board officials had also received Murray’s press release, Murray had yet to file a formal petition to contest the election. The station also sought comment from Lucas, who said that he had never been to Ukraine.

“Many things have been said about me, said to me during course of my campaigns,” Lucas told KFOR. “This is the first time I’ve ever been accused of being a body double or a robot.”

I think we’ve seen this movie before.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Friday, June 6, 2014

Surprise, Surprise

David Brooks says President Obama was right.

It doesn’t matter if Bergdahl had deserted his post or not. It doesn’t matter if he is a confused young man who said insulting and shameful things about his country and his Army. The debt we owe to fellow Americans is not based on individual merit. It is based on citizenship, and loyalty to the national community we all share.

Soldiers don’t risk their lives only for those Americans who deserve it; they do it for the nation as a whole.

It doesn’t matter either that the United States government ended up dealing with terrorists. In the first place, the Taliban is not a terrorist organization the way Al Qaeda is. America has always tried to reach a negotiated arrangement with the Taliban, and this agreement may be a piece of that. In the second place, this is the dirty world we live in. Sometimes national leaders are called upon to take the sins of the situation upon themselves for the good of the country, to deal with the hateful and compromise with the loathsome. That’s their form of sacrifice and service.

So President Obama made the right call.

Naturally he has to find fault somewhere, so he does it by complaining about the Rose Garden announcement with Bowe Bergdahl’s parents, but that’s his instinctive (and probably RWN-mandated) response.  He can’t help it.  But I give him credit for the rest of it.

If that’s not enough to make you spit-take your Starbucks, here’s Charles Krauthammer, who has never had a nice thing to say about President Obama ever, also on his side.

Speaking on “Special Report,” Krauthammer told Fox News host Bret Baier that Bergdahl should face an investigation over allegations that the soldier left his post in Afghanistan on the night he went missing. However, he insisted that the White House did the right thing by bringing him home first.

“Look, had the choice been mine, I would have made that same choice,” Krauthammer said. “It’s a difficult decision and I would not attack those who would have done otherwise.”


Krauthammer said that the United States, along with other Western countries, “always comes out on the short end” in hostage swaps. He included Israel in this, pointing to when the country gave up 1,000 Palestinian prisoners in return for one sergeant.

“The reason we put a value on the individual human life the way that the ones at the other end of the table don’t,” Krauthammer said. “That’s why we always end up with unequal swaps.”

If neither of them backtrack in the next twelve hours after getting tons of hate mail from real ‘Murkins, then I’d say we have something noteworthy going on here: sensible and reasonable response from the right to something Barack Obama did.

Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Thursday, May 8, 2014

Friday, May 2, 2014

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

On The Menu

It’s the first day of Passover, so what do you think the cafeteria at the office has on the menu?  Your choice of either baked pork chunks or shrimp pasta.


Thursday, March 20, 2014

Lost and Found

History takes a beating at Fox News.

Fox News host Bill Hemmer on Wednesday referenced a peculiar hoax in order to help explain just how long it might take to find the missing Malaysian Airlines jet.

“So what it took us what 100 years to find the Titanic? It took us 2,000 years to find Noah’s Ark. Do we ever find flight 370?” Hemmer asked his guest, aviation attorney Salvatore Lagonia.

Lagonia didn’t seem to think it would take that long.

“Oh, I think we find flight 370 much sooner than those two things, thank God,” Lagonia said. “Until then, it’s the greatest reality show in the world.”

Some claim they found remnants of Noah’s Ark in Turkey, however that has been debunked by multiple scientists.

Well, first, it didn’t take 100 years to “find” the Titanic.  It took 73 years (1912-1985), and it wasn’t really lost in the first place; we knew approximately where it was the whole time.  It took that long to develop a submersible that could go down to 12,000 feet underwater.

Second, no one’s ever found Noah’s Ark because it’s a fable.  It’s like saying “Well, it took 2,000 years for Gollum to find the One Ring.”  So unless Mr. Hemmer was being clever with his metaphors, he should stick to reporting about the latest unicorn sightings.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Sick People

Measles is making a comeback in New York thanks to scare tactics by uninformed people.

This is sheer lunacy.  Just over a dozen years ago this illness was considered eliminated in our country, and this year people are being hospitalized for it. All due to the hysteria about a safe, effective vaccine. All based on nothing.There is no legitimate scientific controversy about whether or not vaccines are safe.  The original study that started us down this insane path by linking the MMR vaccine to autism has been retracted outright. The evidence against administering the MMR vaccine to healthy individuals is utterly without merit.

But people continue to make the utterly baffling choice to refuse it anyway.  Dispiriting new information seems to indicate that they are immune to persuasion when confronted with facts inconvenient to their worldview. Indeed, writers at prominent online media outlets chide us for “demeaning” vaccine-deniers, saying to do so “defies explanation.”

Measles is not just some childhood disease.  People die from it.  And now more could because of some prominent stupid people and junk science.

Wednesday, March 12, 2014