Friday, December 5, 2003

Krauthammer Thinks He’s Funny

I’d hate to have to listen to this guy all the time:

A plague is loose on the land: Bush Derangement Syndrome


Diane Rehm: “Why do you think he (Bush) is suppressing that (Sept. 11) report?”

Howard Dean: “I don’t know. There are many theories about it. The most interesting theory that I’ve heard so far — which is nothing more than a theory, it can’t be proved — is that he was warned ahead of time by the Saudis. Now who knows what the real situation is?”

— The Diane Rehm Show, NPR, Dec. 1

It has been 25 years since I discovered a psychiatric syndrome (”Secondary Mania,” Archives of General Psychiatry, November 1978), and in the interim I haven’t been looking for new ones. But it’s time to don the white coat again. A plague is abroad in the land.

”Bush Derangement Syndrome”: the acute onset of paranoia in otherwise normal people in reaction to the policies, the presidency — nay — the very existence of George W. Bush.

Now, I cannot testify to Howard Dean’s sanity before this campaign, but five terms as governor by a man with no visible tics and no history of involuntary confinement is pretty good evidence of a normal mental status. When he avers, however, that ”the most interesting” theory as to why the president is ”suppressing” the 9/11 report is that Bush knew about 9/11 in advance, it’s time to check on thorazine supplies.


It is true that BDS has struck some pretty smart guys — Bill Moyers ranting about a ”right-wing wrecking crew” engaged in ”a deliberate, intentional destruction of the United States way of governing” as well as New York Times columnist Paul Krugman, whose recent book attacks the president so virulently that Krugman’s British publisher saw fit to adorn the cover with images of Dick Cheney in a Hitler-like mustache and Bush stitched-up like Frankenstein.


Some clinicians consider this delusion — that Americans can get their news only from one part of the political spectrum — the gravest of all. They report that no matter how many times sufferers in padded cells are presented with flash cards with the symbols ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, MSNBC, NPR, PBS, Time, Newsweek, New York Times, Washington Post, L.A. Times — they remain unresponsive, some in a terrifying near-catatonic torpor.

There is no cure, but there is hope. There are many fine researchers seeking that cure. Your donation to the BDS Foundation, no matter how small, can help. Mailing address: Republican National Committee, Washington D.C., Attention: Psychiatric Department. Just make sure your amount does not exceed $2,000 ($4,000 for a married couple).

My prescription for you, Chuck: take a high colonic and go on a ten-mile hike.