Monday, December 8, 2003

What Would Bill Do Without Hillary?

Bill Safire, that is. He can’t seem to get through a week without wondering aloud about Sen. Hillary Clinton’s nefarious plans to take over the White House. This time, according to Safire, she’s become a hawk on Iraq and Afghanistan just so she can position herself as a DLC centrist for a run in 2008, assuming, of course, that Bush is re-elected in 2004. Her hawkishness is just a ploy to ensure Bush’s re-election so she can run against Bill Frist (Frist? Are you stoned?) or Jeb “Fredo” Bush. But if the Democrats win next year, all her Lady Macbeth plotting will be ruined.

But if Howard Dean wins nomination and election in 2004, he would surely be the Democratic candidate again in 2008, and by the time 2012 rolls around, Hillary would be a wizened, doddering Medicare recipient facing a tide of voter resentment after eight years of Dean’s executive-privilege arrogance in power (I exaggerate for effect).

Give it up, Bill. You’re embarrassing yourself.