Tuesday, February 3, 2004

Top Ten Conservative Idiots

Democratic Underground runs this every week. This week’s list is especially tasty, including this entry that Yours Truly had a direct hand in:

10. Traditional Values Coalition

And finally: ha ha, we annoyed the nutjobs! Meet the Traditional Values Coalition, who are either a) too cheap to hire a proper polling company or b) too scared that if they DO hire a proper polling company they won’t get the results they want. So instead they made the foolish mistake of resorting to the thoroughly unreliable online poll method, only to be surprised when their poll was horrendously skewed against them. But guess what – Democratic Underground is to blame! According to the TVC, “Radical Democrats are bragging on the DemocraticUnderground.com web site that they’ve been skewing the results of TVC’s marriage poll by voting more than once.” Hilariously, the TVC’s poll “Would you vote for a presidential candidate who supports same-sex marriage or civil unions?” ended up with a “Yes” vote of 34,537 and a “No” vote of 26,550. According to the TVC, this means that DUers have a “disturbing, flexible morality” (of course, holding a poll which you know beforehand is going to produce a particular result in your favor is entirely moral behavior). Hypocrisy also appears to be a “Traditional Value” – despite accusing us of a “rather paranoid view of the world,” the TVC is apparently worried that messing with their stupid online poll is comparable to voting in a real election, suggesting that “it appears that we can expect widespread voter fraud this November from Clintonoid activists.” Man, these guys are dumb. Mind you, while we’re on the subject of paranoia, bear in mind that the Traditional Values Coalition are also responsible for the Homosexual Urban Legends series. So I guess bigotry and hate are “Traditional Values” too! (Incidentally the TVC also says that “One would hope that individuals voting in an online poll would have the personal integrity to vote only once – not multiple times.” Well gee, I dunno – they should ask the experts.)

Glad to be of assistance! Anything to drive them a little more nuts.