Sunday, March 28, 2004


From the Miami Herald:

Your state tax dollars at work: About twice a month, six Tallahassee bureaucrats convene around a large wooden table at the Department of Motor Vehicles to scratch their heads over a pile of puzzling letter combinations — mumbo-jumbo like CUX KVH, DILIGAF or IH8HMO.

Like CIA cryptographers, they must divine whether the often obscure vanity plates that motorists have applied for convey a mirthful, wholesome message — or something sinister and raunchy.

And then they approve or reject them.

The head of the agency, Carl Ford, can overrule the panel and break any ties.

To say that many vanity plate applicants have a drunken frat boy’s sense of humor may be unfair — to drunken frat boys.

Consider these committee rejects: A5KIKN, BUELSHT, CRAC HD, JACKAZZ, BITE-ME, LUCIFER, KIZ MY A and 11 variants of BADAZZ.

But it’s not clear how and where the committee draws the line. These combinations were deemed palatable by the panel: FAT ASP, 666 and IAM GOD.

And then there is ”ho,” a crude reference to women, at least as it is frequently used in rap lyrics. For reasons unclear, Florida motorists are enamored of it: HOSALE, HOGGASM, MAN HO, MY HO, JIMS HO, HOE ONE, HOE WGN, HOE PLZZ.

Most — an exception being HOE ONE, submitted by one Randall Hoe — were tossed onto the reject pile.

”When you are driving with a 5-year-old in the car, you don’t want to have to explain something like that,” Robert Sanchez, a Department of Motor Vehicles spokesman and panel member, said of the rejects.

Damn, I guess they’re going to reject my application for BUSHSUX.