Tuesday, March 9, 2004

Eww!

From Liz Smith in the New York Post:

‘TUCKER CARLSON, the bow-tied conservative of CNN’s “Crossfire” chats with Elle magazine this month, on the subject of women and sex. Carlson says “One area of liberal phenomenon I support is female bi-sexuality – this apparent increased willingness of girls to bring along a friend. That’s a pretty good thing.” What do women want, Elle asks Tucker? “They want to be listened to, protected and amused. And they want to be spanked vigorously every one in a while.” He also admits if he had to spend his life as a woman it would as Elizabeth Birch, “formerly of the Human Rights Campaign because you’d be presiding over an organization of thousands of lesbians, some of them quite good-looking.” (Folks, nothing you can make up is better than what people actually say these days!)

Who is Carlson’s guilty fantasy bedmate? “Hillary. Every time I see her I think I could, you know, help . . . She seems tense.”

Asked to choose between conservative talkers Laura Ingraham or Ann Coulter, Carlson believes “Laura would be less likely to hurt you. With Ann you could get bruised on the angles.”

Tucker opines that it is best not to argue with a woman. “Most of the time you can beat a woman in an argument. But what do you win? Nothing. You get short-term pleasure followed by a lot of pain.”

He also says, “I like women.” Well, good luck getting them to reciprocate your Neanderthal feeling, kid.

Liz is right. You can’t make this stuff up.