Thursday, March 4, 2004


I listened to the audios of the new Bush-Cheney ads on the drive home last night and almost hit another car because I was laughing so hard. I thought they were parodies – the guy doing the voice-over sounds exactly like the same guy who does the “Ketchup Advisory Board” spots for Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion.

According to NPR, the ads will be shown only on cable TV and targeted on channels like ESPN, Spike, and Speedvision. So they’re going for the NASCAR vote…or the couch potatoes. But chances are that if there’s anyone that’s going to see the ad, it’s some guy who’s sitting at home watching TV because he’s out of a job.

Maybe they’d better re-think their ads. Maybe we can offer some suggestions for them on how to really get to the point of why America should choose Bush/Cheney. This morning MoDo has some suggestions for the second batch of Bush-Cheney ads:

I’m assuming that the second phase of the ad blitz will highlight the man with the plan: Dick Cheney. The Cheney ads could appeal to the base, featuring rich white men in the back seats of limos, showing how hard it is to make the tough decisions for you.

Consider the possibilities:

ON THE SCREEN The spot lingers on a shot of the vice president’s office door, closed and padlocked.

THE SCRIPT: “Big enough to tell you to butt out. Sensitive enough to know that special interests are truly special.”

ON THE SCREEN The spot opens with a tightly focused shot of a headless pheasant, then dissolves into a shot of a big Dick Cheney putting a miniature Antonin Scalia into the pocket of his Elmer Fudd hunting jacket.

THE SCRIPT: “Man enough to hunt with all the big dogs.” is already on the air with their own ads. Readers, any suggestions?