Friday, August 20, 2004

Dracula Sucks

I don’t normally do reviews of shows I haven’t seen, but Ben Brantley’s review of Dracula, The Musical (as opposed to Dracula on Ice?) is too much fun to pass up.

Expectations were exceedingly low for this latest offering from the unstoppable Mr. Wildhorn — the composer of the expensively dressed clunkers “Jekyll and Hyde,” “The Scarlet Pimpernel” and “The Civil War” — and expectations have not been disappointed. So go ahead. Take your shots. Say something, if you must, about toothlessness or bloodlessness or the kindness of hammering stakes into the hearts of undead shows. Think of every appropriate variation you can involving the verbs to bite and to suck.

Ever the obliging blogger…

O.K., now that that’s out of your system, perhaps you’ll concede that it just isn’t much fun to trash something that’s so eminently, obviously trashable. “Dracula, the Musical,” which features a book and lyrics by Don Black and Christopher Hampton and is directed by Des McAnuff (“The Who’s Tommy”), isn’t simply bad, which is an aesthetic state of being that is kind of fun if you’re in the right mood. (Gee, remember the ripely terrible “Dance of the Vampires”?) It is bad and boring.

My favorite review of all time was Walter Kerr’s one-line review of I Am A Camera (which was turned into a musical called Cabaret) when it opened on Broadway: “No Leica.”