Tuesday, January 18, 2005

Make Love, Not War

This story was on Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me this last weekend as part of the “Bluff the Listener” segment. I thought it was the fake one, but I was wrong.

The U.S. military rejected a 1994 proposal to develop an “aphrodisiac” to spur homosexual activity among enemy troops but is hard at work on other less-than-lethal weapons, defense officials said Sunday.

The idea of fostering homosexuality among the enemy figured in a declassified six-year, $7.5 million request from a laboratory at Wright Patterson Air Force Base in Ohio for funding of non-lethal chemical weapon research.

The proposal, disclosed in response to a Freedom of Information request, called for developing chemicals affecting human behavior “so that discipline and morale in enemy units is adversely affected.”

“One distasteful but completely non-lethal example would be strong aphrodisiacs, especially if the chemical also caused homosexual behavior,” said the document, obtained by the Sunshine Project.

I guess the theory behind it was that the enemy soldiers would be so busy trying to coordinate their accessories that they couldn’t fight.

Would someone please explain to me how the “discipline and morale … is adversely affected”? If you suddenly found yourself in a foxhole with the love of your life, wouldn’t your morale (along with other things) go through the roof? As for discipline, well, there’s lots of leather straps and toys in a Humvee for those into that kind of thing.

Anybody else want to hit this one out of the park?