Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Guy’s Nuts — Follow-up

From the Miami Herald:

Gulliver Prep baseball coach Lazer Callazo officialy resigned Wednesday, a week after his alledged [sic] involvement of improper behavior towards his players came to light.


According to a Coral Gables police report, Collazo dropped his pants, took out his penis and accused his players of not having the testicular fortitude it takes to play baseball after a loss to Florida Christian on April 7.

“He then,” according to a Coral Gables police report, “pointed to his penis, testicles and asked the team if they had a set of these or were they equipped with a vagina.”

(First thing–the Herald really needs to improve their proof-reading.)

Um, I don’t think he really “resigned” as in “Oh, gee, Coach, we’re sorry to see you go.” I know this place. They don’t work like that. He was basically told,

Look, we know we’ve renewed your contract for next year and we know that the motto of this school is “Win At Any Cost,” but the bad publicity is killing us — Channel 4 is doing live shots, and some blog named Bark Bark Woof Woof is having a field day. We can’t take much more of it, even if we are a bunch of uptight right-wing nouveau-riche snobs. Here’s your chance to get out with your head held high. No, not THAT head!

So they sugar-coated it and made sure that everyone knew he didn’t resign involuntarily:

“This is a resignation he is fully aware of,” Gulliver public relations director Jen Vaida said Tuesday.

Whatever. They knew the guy was a jerk when they hired him — he’d been fired by the University of Miami for questionable financial dealings — but what the hell; he made them state champions. To the people at Gulliver, it was worth the risk. What a wonderful lesson to teach the kids.

Update: Jim DeFede, who wrote the column that started me off on this, follows up.