Karl Rove: Overweight, no hollywood darling, but unquestionably brilliant as a tactician and logician. Absolutely no way Bush would desert him, especially when the facts are starting to show Rove was [what a shock] set up by the Left.
Rats, they found us out. We did set up Karl. It’s all an elaborate plot involving the British, Robert Novak, and some Italian guy forging documents about yellowcake in Niger. We really do have an I.M.F. team working undercover around the globe. Our plan was working perfectly until that dastardly DJ Drummond sniffed us out! Curses!
The problem with that is, of course, that if we were so smart and so clever at setting up Karl Rove, how come Bush is in the White House instead of falling off his bicycle in Texas? How come John Kerry is in the Senate sending me e-mails instead of appointing Chuck Schumer to the Supreme Court? And if we were so clever to trick Karl Rove into leaking the name of a covert C.I.A. agent to the press and then giving conflicting testimony to the grand jury, why the hell did we wait until now? If we were that smart and insidious, we would have nailed that fat bastard back in 1996.
No, DJ, we’re not that clever. But thanks for thinking we are. It’ll keep you up nights, and playing the victim is what you tin-foil-hat types on the right are best at.