Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Shorter John Tierney

So some people in the White House leaked some classified information to the press. So they did it for purely political purposes. So they say they didn’t know it was illegal. What’s the big deal?

The big deal is that if you have to ask, you have no business being in a position of knowing about classified information.

If it is not such a big deal, then why didn’t Karl Rove or Scooter Libby or Dick Cheney stand up and say, “Hey, I did it. Big fat hairy deal. What’s next?”

And, by the way, if leaking that kind of information is not such a big deal, where does a blowjob in the Oval Office stand on the scale of criminal activity?

Mr. Tierney says that Patrick Fitzgerald has no case to make for “knowingly” leaking confidential information, so he’s going after possible perjury or obstruction of justice charges in the investigation.

Perjury, of course, was the charge that Kenneth Starr accurately pinned on Bill Clinton, but the public didn’t buy it. People realized that whatever the affair and the cover-up said about Clinton’s character and judgment, the scandal was not a crime.

Oh, so you’re admitting the whole impeachment thing was just an inning in the Republicans’ game of political hardball? Well, gee, it’s a little late to use that excuse. Tell you what. You guys issue a blanket apology to all the people in the Clinton administration for dragging them through the mud for six years, pay them back all their legal fees, reimburse the Justice Department and the Treasury for the $100 million we spent on investigating the Clintons, and we’ll look into cutting a deal on getting Karl Rove a cell with a window.