Monday, March 20, 2006

B is for “Bonehead”

Carl Hiaasen on Katherine Harris — “dryly identified in court papers as ‘Representative B'”):

To refloat her foundering Senate campaign, Rep. Katherine Harris says she’s investing $10 million of her own dough.

The donation would be legal, unbundled and untainted — a bold experiment for the Longboat Key Republican.

Until recently, Harris wasn’t particularly picky about where she got her money, or how suspicious it looked. One major booster recently pleaded guilty to paying more than $1 million in bribes to another GOP congressman, Randy ”Duke” Cunningham of California.

Defense contractor Mitchell Wade admitted buying off Cunningham, and also funneling thousands of dollars illegally to Harris. Harris says she didn’t have a clue that the donations were dirty.

Meaning she’s either a dunce, or she’s lying.


Having her name surface in the Duke Cunningham scandal was the last thing Harris needed, yet she’s been slow to grasp its gravity. Her pal Cunningham, who campaigned here for her, is heading to the slammer for eight years. Defense contractor Wade faces up to 20.

Luckily for Harris, prosecutors seem to have bought the idea that she was too dense to realize there was something smelly about Wade’s bundled campaign checks.

But here’s the flake factor: Even when told about it, Harris initially refused to return the tainted contributions. Staffers, some of whom were already running for the lifeboats, eventually persuaded her to give the money to charity.

Last week Harris went on Fox News to say she was hanging tough in the Senate race, and kicking in $10 million herself.

That’s a heavy wad, even for an heir to the Ben Hill Griffin citrus fortune. Harris will need every penny to make people forget the sorry performance of Representative B.

As in bonehead.

I think you get the idea. The only chance Ms. Harris has of winning the election is if Bill Nelson is caught in bed with a dead girl or a live boy.