Thursday, October 11, 2007

Well, He’s Tall

Gail Collins sums up the candidacy Fred Thompson.

What exactly is the point of Fred Thompson? He once got elected to the Senate by driving around Tennessee in a red truck (which, critics carped, he ditched as soon as he was out of sight of the last voter).

He persuaded people that his opponent was wrong when he claimed Thompson was nothing but a “Gucci-wearing, Lincoln-driving, Perrier-drinking, Grey Poupon-spreading millionaire Washington special interest lobbyist.” Of course, that was some time ago, and things have changed. Thompson is now a Gucci-wearing, Lincoln-driving, Perrier-drinking, Grey Poupon-spreading millionaire Washington special interest lobbyist and actor.

[…]

So there we are. Thanks to two hours of Republicans talking, Americans can now rest assured that Fred Thompson A) has all his marbles and B) is a terrible candidate. All actors, it seems, are not Ronald Reagan. Thompson not only isn’t charismatic, he doesn’t even seem pleasant. If Fred is a man of the people, I am Jennifer Lopez.

“People who play by the rules and work hard can expect to live the American dream,” he said sternly. “If they need help in this country, they get help. And those who can help themselves are expected to do so.”

I hope that’s clear. All you losers out there have obviously failed to play by the rules and work hard. Everybody who doesn’t own a house didn’t try hard enough to buy one. Stick to the program and you will have all the Guccis and Grey Poupon you need.

You’ve got to say this about Fred Thompson. He’s one hell of a tall candidate.

And folksy.