Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Goldberg Vacuations

Jonah Goldberg, the Pauly Shore of punditry, finally completed his book, Liberal Fascism, or How I Made Myself a Laughing Stock in Ten Chapters. Sadly, No! has been having the most fun dissecting it, but some of the more choice bits include such bon mots as “The white male is the Jew of liberal fascism,” “Joe McCarthy: man of the Left.”

Jonah has literally taken everyone who ever did anything bad and turned them into a liberal. Why did the Titanic crash? Because it was run by godless liberals who mocked the Lord by calling their ship unsinkable. Why was Janet Jackson’s nipple exposed at the Super Bowl? Because liberals designed her dress to pop open and undermine America’s sacred values. Abu Ghraib? Totally a result of the Left’s perversion of our cultural norms. Why was President Bush so slow to respond to Hurricane Katrina? Because he was playing a guitar, which is the consensus favorite instrument of… LIBERALS!!!

[…]

Is there even a word for this? Reading this book is like watching a flaming piano fall out of an airplane and land in a puppy farm.

I can’t decide if Jonah is either out to knock Stephen Colbert out of the park while the WGA strike is going on, or he actually believes this crap. Either way, he’s way out of his league.