Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Vanity Card

If you watch very quickly at the end of some TV shows, you catch the so-called “vanity card” that the producer puts up to announce his name and production company. Remember “Sit Ubu sit – (woof) – good dog”, or “Goodnight, Mr. Walters! (groan)”? Well, Chuck Lorre, the producer of Two and Half Men and The Big Bang Theory, has become famous for his vanity cards that have little essays in them. But unless you have a way of stopping the show — like with a TiVo — you can’t actually read them.

However, Mr. Lorre has a website where he has stored them, so you can actually read them. As my brother notes, “many bite the hand that feeds him, most are quite liberal, many get censored by CBS, and so on.” And last night’s vanity card for Two and Half Men took a swipe at Sarah Palin:


Starting a family when you’re young is tough sledding. I know. I did it. And without a sled. Heck, without snow! Which is why I am hereby offering Levi Johnston $100,000 to help him and his lovely young bride-to-be, Bristol, get started.* Levi, if you’re reading this, please know that all I’m asking for in return is an opportunity to sit and talk with you in a casual, private setting (I’ll happily supply the beer). My reason for wanting to do this is simple: I’m a comedy writer and I get the feeling you have some funny stories to tell. In addition, if the video of our conversation should generate any income, I will not only split the profits with you, I will also donate my share to the charity of your choice (is there a foundation for children with hockey-related head injuries?). Anyway, Levi, I look forward to hearing from you. And no matter what your decision is, always remember, I’m pulling for you, dude.

P.S. Don’t listen to your friends, you look good in a suit.

P.S.S. See if Bristol is open to having two more kids. If so, you can call the last one “Hat Trick.” How cool would that be?

*Offer expires at midnight, November 3rd.

I need to get a TiVo.