Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Hey, GOP, He’s All Yours

In an interview in Christianity Today, “Joe the Plumber” holds forth on gay rights, Christianity, and Constitutional scholarship.

In the last month, same-sex marriage has become legal in Iowa and Vermont. What do you think about same-sex marriage at a state level?

At a state level, it’s up to them. I don’t want it to be a federal thing. I personally still think it’s wrong. People don’t understand the dictionary—it’s called queer. Queer means strange and unusual. It’s not like a slur, like you would call a white person a honky or something like that. You know, God is pretty explicit in what we’re supposed to do—what man and woman are for. Now, at the same time, we’re supposed to love everybody and accept people, and preach against the sins. I’ve had some friends that are actually homosexual. And, I mean, they know where I stand, and they know that I wouldn’t have them anywhere near my children. But at the same time, they’re people, and they’re going to do their thing.

[…]

Does the Republican Party reach out to evangelicals enough?

No. None of them stand up for anything. They use God as a punch line. They use God to invoke sympathy or invoke righteousness, but they don’t stay the course. That’s why I think that all needs to be taken out of the federal level and give it back to the states. We’ve lost our American history. Every state has “In God we trust” or “With God’s help” in their constitution. God is recognized as, if you will, America’s religion.

[…]

Why does conservatism appeal to you as a Christian?

Conservatism is about the basic rights of individuals. God created us. As far as the government goes, the Founding Fathers based the Constitution off of Christian values. It goes hand-in-hand.

There you are, folks. This is the guy the Republicans championed as the voice of the “average” American; assuming, that is, that the average American is an ignorant white guy from Toledo. He’s Archie Bunker on Twitter, and he’s got the act down pat: “some of my best friends” are gay but I won’t let my kids near them, and God is an American “religion.” (What, no comments about President Obama’s “rhythm”?)

God hasn’t told him yet whether or not to run for office. I sincerely hope he does; I really want to have this voice of reason out there with big “R” next to his name and his face plastered across every Fox newscast as a subtle reminder as to why voters are leaving the GOP in droves.