Thursday, July 9, 2009

Dear Mom & Dad…

According to his lawyer, Sen. John Ensign’s parents paid off his mistress and her husband to the tune of $96,000.

After the Senator told his parents about the affair, his parents decided to make the gifts out of concern for the well-being of long-time family friends during a difficult time. The gifts are consistent with a pattern of generosity by the Ensign family to the Hamptons and others.

None of the gifts came from campaign or official funds nor were they related to any campaign or official duties. Senator Ensign has complied with all applicable laws and Senate ethics rules.

Paul Coggins
Fish & Richardson P.C.

So let me get this straight: Senator Ensign, the paragon of the Party of Personal Responsibility, lets mommy and daddy pick up the tab for his fooling around like he was a teenager who totaled the family car after getting shit-faced at a kegger.

I’m sure there are a lot of questions about this, like whether or not this was either hush money or extortion, but what I want to know is are these the same parents who taught Sen. Ensign that it’s a “traditional family value” to buy people off?

(Psst, hey, Mr. & Mrs. Ensign, Sr; I could use a few bucks. Who do I have to screw to get $50 grand?)