Former Senator Rick Santorum will not be the GOP nominee for president. But never fear; if Saturday Night Live ever wants to resurrect Dana Carvey’s classic Church Lady routine, he’s got the part nailed down. To wit:

Rick Santorum pledged to repeal all federal funding for contraception, during a recent interview with CaffeinatedThoughts.com editor Shane Vander Hart, arguing that birth control devalues the act of procreation. “One of the things I will talk about, that no president has talked about before, is I think the dangers of contraception in this country,” the former Pennsylvania senator explained. “It’s not okay. It’s a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be”:

SANTORUM: [Sex] is supposed to be within marriage. It’s supposed to be for purposes that are yes, conjugal…but also procreative. That’s the perfect way that a sexual union should happen…This is special and it needs to be seen as special.

Conservatives are, by nature, obsessed with other peoples’ sex lives, but Mr. Santorum and his history of speaking candidly about his fixation on all manner of sexual activity is way beyond creepy.