Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Wisconsin Rules

Gov. Scott Walker (R-WI) is all in favor of democracy and that “we the people” schtick unless the people are trying to recall him or perhaps show their dissatisfaction at the state capitol by getting together with more than three other friends to talk about him behind his back but in public.

Charlie Pierce elaborates:

On Friday, Governor Scott Walker presided over the ceremonial lighting of the Christmas tree in the great rotunda of the state capitol, hard by the bust of Fightin’ Bob LaFollette, which looked very much like it might leap from its pedestal and bite him in the balls. He dedicated the occasion to Wisconsin’s veterans, and he brought some of them with him. “THERE WILL BE NO MEDIA AVAILABILITY BEFORE OR AFTER THE EVENT,” the press release cautioned in big capital letters, so nobody could miss them.

There were new rules in the state capitol that morning. There are new rules in the state capitol of Wisconsin on almost every morning these days. You see, ever since last winter, when Walker rammed through his assault on the state’s public workers, touching off a general uprising all over the state, and a specific one outside on his front lawn, many of his fellow citizens have taken to expressing in imaginative ways how much of a walking pustulation they believe their governor is, both inside and outside the capitol building. So, in the interest of not being told to his face what a walking pustulation he is, Walker and his Department of Administration have concocted a veritable symphony of pettiness to drown out the noise. You have to hold a sign saying what a walking pustulation you think the governor is. If you secure your sign saying what a walking pustulation you think the governor is to a railing or to a banister, that is no longer a “sign,” that is considered an “exhibit,” and you are liable, if you don’t take it down, to get hauled off by the capitol cops. People have been busted for wearing the Bill of Rights around their necks. One girl was removed from the legislative gallery because she opened her civics textbook to read, and someone thought she was making a statement about what a walking pustulation she thought Scott Walker was. I am not making these stories up.

This is why, when I hear Republicans say they are for less government and more freedom and carry on about how the liberals all want to regulate everything and force us to do politically correct things, I laugh both uproariously and sardonically.

PS: I think “Walking Pustulation” would be a great name for a heavy metal band.