Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Terrifying Canadians

Here’s another entry in the Not From The Onion files:

TORONTO — Former U.S. vice-president Dick Cheney has cancelled an April appearance in Toronto citing concerns Canada is too dangerous.

“He felt that in Canada the risk of violent protest was simply too high,” said Ryan Ruppert, president of promotions company Spectre Live Corp., which had booked Mr. Cheney for an April 24 appearance at the Metro Toronto Convention Centre.

“They specifically referenced what happened in Vancouver,” Mr, Ruppert added.

In September, Mr. Cheney was speaking at a private club in Vancouver when protesters massed outside the front door harassing ticket holders and in one instance, choking a security guard.

The former vice-president was reportedly held inside the building for more than seven hours as Vancouver Police in riot gear dispersed the demonstrators.

Cheney, who along with former President George W. Bush remains unpopular in Canada, had been slated to talk about his time in office and the current U.S. political landscape.

“God forbid there was ever an emergency,” said Ruppert, noting Cheney’s history of heart problems.

Yeah, some hoser might sneak up on him and yell “Boo!”

Do I really have to defend our friends in the True North? I know it’s a stereotype that the Canadian people are the nicest people on the planet, but that’s because it’s basically true. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that while they are a strong and free people with a national pride second to none — and a lot to be proud of — they don’t go around like a big bully presuming to know best how to run everyone else’s business.

The only reason Mr. Cheney is afraid to go to Toronto is that he won’t be treated with the sycophantic slobbering that he’s used to from his toadies here in the U.S.