Tuesday, March 19, 2013


The Republicans are trying to figure out how to get back into the good graces of the electorate.

Not that it’s any of my business, and far be it from me to stop the Republicans from shooting themselves in the foot — after all, it’s their god-given constitutional right to own a firearm — but here’s some suggestions:

  • Stop calling undocumented immigrants “illegals.”
  • Stop treating women as if their bodies were owned and operated by the state.
  • Stop treating the LGBTQ community as if it was an underclass.
  • Science is a real thing in the world.  It is not political or anti-religious.  It just is.
  • Accept the fact that Barack Obama has been elected twice and, unlike Ted Cruz and John McCain, he was actually born on U.S. soil.
  • If Ronald Reagan could raise taxes eleven times, you can do it too.
  • Stop treating assholes like Donald Trump, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck, and Rush Limbaugh as if they were assets.  They’re the reasons good people hate you.

In other words, you know how your party has been for the last fifty years?  Stop being like that.

3 barks and woofs on “Re-GOP

    • It suddenly struck me that “corporations are people” is a direct descendant of 3/5. Under the old system, a slaveowner’s voting power was 1 + 3/5 of his slaves. Under the new system, a corporation’s campaign-finance power seems to be $1 per C-level exec plus $1 per share in the business.

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