Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Butch Jesus

Retired General Jerry Boykin has holy locker room fantasies about our lord and savior:

Do you think he looked like the effeminate picture that we always see of him? He didn’t look like that. He had big ole calluses over his hands, right? I imagine he probably lost a nail or two, he probably hit it with a hammer or something.”

“You think his biceps weren’t big bulging biceps, big ole veins popping out of his arms, thin waist, strong shoulders from lifting? He smelled bad! Why? Because he sweated, he worked. You think I’m sacrilegious because I said Jesus smelled bad? No, he was a man! He was a man’s man.”

Biceps Jesus
“He was a tough guy, and that’s the Jesus I want to be like. But we feminize Jesus in the church and men can’t identify with him anymore, not the kind of men I want to hang out with. They can’t identify with this effeminate Jesus that we’ve tried to portray.”

Okay, General, whatever turns you on.  Who are we to judge?

6 barks and woofs on “Butch Jesus

  1. He does have something of a point: as a carpenter, which is a physically demanding trade, He would have been pretty sturdy. But bodybuilder-grade fitness? Not so much.

    Does Gen. Boykin recall, however, that the one and only recorded time He got into a fracas, it was with the money-changers in the temple? No? Thought not.

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