Saturday, January 31, 2015

Halftime Hype

Something to look forward to at tomorrow’s Super Bowl:

PHOENIX—Stressing that she didn’t want to divulge too much information about the upcoming performance, pop star Katy Perry dropped several hints at a press conference Friday indicating that this weekend’s Super Bowl XLIX halftime show will be completely awful. “I don’t want to give anything away, but I will say this: Come halftime on Sunday, you better be ready to see the absolute worst, most god-awful piece of garbage you could possibly imagine,” said a smiling Perry, cryptically adding that fans could expect to see several surprise guests join her for “some lame duet performance that no one would ever want to see or hear in a million years.” “I can’t wait for you guys to see what Lenny [Kravitz] and I have planned, because you’ll be blown away at just how unbelievably terrible it is. The whole thing is going to be one giant, extremely over-the-top, 12-minute-long, pathetic excuse for entertainment that will be totally unwatchable. Trust me, you’re going to hate it—just absolutely hate it.” Despite guaranteeing that this Sunday’s halftime show will easily be one of the worst of all time, Perry did admit that it will be difficult to top last year’s giant heap of dog shit starring Bruno Mars and the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Sorry, folks, it’s from The Onion.

One bark on “Halftime Hype

  1. I have made a habit of going to the ‘frig to see what’s on offer during the half-time break. I make popcorn and get out the nibbles and the ice. I might even take time to head to the head. By the time I’ve completed these little to-dos I can be assured the half-time show is over and I’m still in time to see some of the ads. Research shows, by the way, that water usage soars during Super Bowl half times.

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