Not from The Onion:
“Hello, YouTube. I’m kinda having a difficult decision,” Webb lamented in the 3-minute video. “I don’t know which party to vote for. … I don’t know whether to go for a Republican or a Democrat — and I’m serious. Because I asked myself, I said, ‘Which party has helped me out the most in the last, I don’t know, 15 years? Twenty?’ And it was the Repub-, err, Democrat Party. The Democrats.”
“I mean if it wasn’t for Obama and that Obamacare, I would still be working,” Webb continued. “With Obamacare, I got to retire at age 50. Because if it wasn’t for Obamacare I would had to work till I was 65 and get on Medicare because health insurance is expensive.”
Webb stressed how valuable it was that he’d been able to retire so early and still had health care coverage. He also noted that Obamacare reimburses him for his gym membership.
This was the Machiavellian part of Obamacare: people who say they hate it can’t quit it because they can’t live without it even though it was rammed down their throats by that secretly gay Muslim Kenyan uppity usurper.