Friday, October 9, 2015

Roosting Chickens

Charles P. Pierce is in the House.

There are all kinds of chickens coming home to roost. This development – which, I would point out, leaves Jason Chaffetz (R-Zygote) as the “moderate” choice for Speaker of the House, and third in line to be president of the United States – is the final justification for all of us who have been saying for a while now that there is no “extreme” wing of the Republican party any more. The prion disease has taken full hold of the party’s higher functions. It is already being bruited about the monkeyhouse that Chaffetz may not be pure enough to satisfy the Freedom Caucus, the claque of angry gossoons who sank McCarthy the moment that McCarthy told the truth about what the House is up to with its hearings on Benghazi, Benghazi!, BENGHAZI! ​Let us have a look at some of the folks in the Freedom Caucus, shall we?

Louie Gohmert: Padishah Emperor for life of the Crazy People.

Raul Labrador: Wanted to run for Majority Leader the moment he walked in the door. Led an unsuccessful putsch against John Boehner in 2013. Who’s the sap now?

Mark Meadows: Wants to send the president back to Kenya. Has a bit of a staff problem on his hands at the moment.

Dave Brat: Upside—Rid the Republic of Eric Cantor. Downside—Thinks this was founded as a Christian nation. Is wrong.

Barry Loudermilk: Wants all immigrants to pack up and leave the country. Stalwart foe of Agenda 21, the secret UN plan to steal all our golfs.  Was elected over noted liberal favorite Bob Barr.

Jim Bridenstine:  Thinks he’s Patrick Henry. Thinks the Supreme Court is not the ultimate judge of what is constitutional. Thinks Mark Levin is.

Tim Huelskamp:  Made no friends. Influenced no people. Is from Kansas. Res ipse loquitur.

I could be googling forever here, but you get the point. The balance of power in half the national legislature now seems to be in the hands of the crème de la crazee.  (This is such a mess at this point that Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from Wisconsin, and a man whose ambition makes Satan look like Uriah Heep, has done everything except hire a skywriter to say he’s not interested.)  Is this finally enough for the elite political press to notice that half the American political process is in full-blown dementia? Or does Jason Chaffetz have to lose, too?

Allow yourself as much schadenfreude as you can muster, then remember that the debt ceiling needs to be raised by November 5 or we default, and the budget deal hammered out at the end of September expires on December 11.  Do these look like the kind of people you want making those kinds of decisions?

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