Donald Trump is demanding an apology for Hillary Clinton saying that his words have been recruiting people for ISIS. Here is her apology as envisioned by Balloon Juice commenter Schlemazel:
I am truly and deeply sorry that a pathetic excuse for an American like Donald Trump is encouraged to say horrible, awful things about people of faith simply to get votes. Additionally I am sorry that these foolish statements play exactly into the hands of the people he claims to be against. It saddens me because I know America is better than this and capable of much better than Mr. Trump’s ugly vision for the future. It is beyond doubt that his hateful words, words that support the Daesh-stated mission, can so easily be used to prove their point. I am deeply sorry for all of that.
Works for me.