Thursday, November 15, 2018

Too Clever

Republicans seem to live for conspiracy theories, and the loopier the better.  Right now Florida and a bunch of other states are going through the final stages of counting very close races (see below), but for all the hard work and glitches that any large operation is heir to, the GOP thinks it all comes down to a very clever master plan dreamed up by George Soros and a bunch of Hollywood liberals: make the races so close that recounts are necessary and then swoop in and snatch the victory!

Steve M:

The governor’s race and Senate race in Florida are both very close. So is the governor’s race in Georgia. The Senate race in Texas was fairly close. And hey, you know what other races were close? The presidential races in Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, and Michigan in 2016.

The right-wing theory of Democratic voter fraud is this: Democrats cheat in such a sophisticated way that they almost win many key races on Election Night, and then they manipulate the vote count so they seize the lead some of the time. What a skilled set of crooks Democrats are! Dems could simply cook the books on Election Day or earlier, but I guess they’d rather do part of the work then and then manipulate the vote almost successfully afterward, when everyone’s paying attention. Because that’s how professional election thieves roll.

This is the dumbest conspiracy theory about Democrats since the Brett Kavanaugh hearings. You remember that conspiracy: Democrats had a sexual assault accusation against Kavanaugh all teed up, but deliberately held it until after the hearings were over, presumably because they wanted it to look suspicious and desperate. Holding back on the allegation for months was all part of Democrats’ sinister plan, the fiendish brilliance of which became clear when Kavanaugh was confirmed anyway.

It didn’t seem possible that Democrats could top that, but letting Stacey Abrams, Andrew Gillum, and Bill Nelson fall behind and then scrounging up probably not enough fake votes for them is even cleverer, isn’t it?

I’m sorry; I’ve been a registered Democrat for fifty years and I have yet to meet anyone in the party who is that clever.

Well, as I noted the other day, if you’re really going to steal an election, the way to do it is to commit such massive and well-hidden fraud that there would be no question about the outcome.  To rig it for a cliffhanger makes no sense.  But in the Republicans’ fevered imagination, that’s just how the Democrats wanted it to go so that when there was a recount, there would be all this drama and confusion and then the cheaters could slip in the few extra votes so the Democrat wins.  (Okay, that doesn’t even make sense to me, and I write fiction as a side gig.)

In reality, the whole thing plays to the GOP and right wing’s need to play the victim.  They’re always the ones being cheated, even when they win.  Trump will never get over Hillary Clinton getting more votes than he did in the popular tally, and to this day he still acts as if it’s late October 2016 and the troops have to be rallied.  White men were once in charge but now they have to share and it’s SO UNFAIR.  That and they know somehow, somewhere in what’s left of any moral compass they still have, they can only win by cheating or demonizing, and it eats away at them.  But hypocrisy and hubris are very powerful enablers, and as long as they can get away with it — and as long as there’s a gullible and weak-willed base to lap it up — they will keep doing it.

2 barks and woofs on “Too Clever

  1. In a city called Edinberg here in the Rio Grande Valley there are 11people under indictment for voter fraud. They registered to vote in the city when they live int he county so they could vote in the mayors race. To try and rig an election with all the different machines and ballots would be next impossible. Counts would have to change at the Secretary of States office.

  2. Steve M. writes for the Onion, true? This theory of his only matches Trump’s tweeted this morning about voter fraud he says is rampant. See, he’s sure people vote twice or more by voting once then going to their car, changing their shirt and hat and glasses and going back in line to vote again.

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