Rather than watch Trump bloviate in front of Congress tonight, here’s a list of things you can do instead.
- Read a book.
- Clean out the grease trap in the kitchen sink.
- Get a parakeet.
- Give that parakeet a karma transplant.
- Give a bath to a bobcat.
- Binge-watch “My Mother the Car.”
- Teach your children the theme song from “Gilligan’s Island.”
- Count the number of meals served on “Downton Abbey.”
- Dive headfirst into your own vomit.
- Run up an alley and holler “fish!”
All of these will be more enlightening.