The geniuses behind the January 6 insurrection keep talking and finding themselves on the business end of the law. Via Charlie Pierce:
Once the good people of America completely convert this old republic into a Dollar Store dictatorship, I am still going to be astonished at how baffled the January 6 insurrectionists apparently are by the concept of covert operations. Yes, the person who left the pipe bombs in front of the two national party headquarters remains at large, but that person is a tiny exception to a massive rule. On the day of the insurrection, the lot of them behaved like grandmothers on their first trip to Vegas. Between Instagram videos, Tweets, and Facebook extravaganzas, these people simply don’t know when to shut…the…fck…up. They can’t even do it while talking to law enforcement officers who are committed to throwing them into the sneezer for several seasons. Take, for example, this Mark Andrew Mazza cat, who pretty plainly is not the smartest person ever to come out of Shelbyville, Indiana.
Mazza stopped by the Capitol on January 6. He was accompanied by his weapon that looks like it was pried off the deck of the USS Iowa. Originally, Mazza told investigators that he had lost track of his Precious in the parking lot of an Ohio casino on his way back from Washington. To the surprise of absolutely nobody, this story was complete bullpucky. Mazza also lied to the local police about his whereabouts on January 6. The Capitol Police soon found that Mazza had uploaded videos of himself inside the Capitol on that date that Mazza had posted to his own Twitter account. Tradecraft!
Now, back to that mutant firearm that Mazza somehow misplaced. When the Capitol Police came to Shelbyville—“Join The Capitol Police And See The World!”—Mazza was initially reluctant to walk away from the obvious nonsense he’d been peddling. But after what appeared to be at least 25 seconds of prodding, he came clean.
The police asked him how his hand-cannon had come to be “stolen.” According to the affidavit filed by the investigating officer, Mazza began his response by saying,
“Uhh…do you want the official version?”
This is not anything Mazza’s eventual lawyers are likely to find helpful. They replied that the truth would be just fine, thanks, whereupon Mazza told them the truth which, as it happens, was worse.
First, he insisted that he and a “friend” had entered the Capitol to try and stop what Mazza believed were obvious left-wing agitators from ruining the high purpose of the authentic insurrectionists. “We knew it was Antifa,” Mazza told his visitors, “because we don’t loot.” He says he lost his firearm at some point when he was being bum-rushed out of the Capitol. Why, then, did he bring his Judge—no kidding, that’s what the big boom-boom really is called—into the Capitol in the first place. This is where it gets really terrible:
“It was cold as hell that day…all three days…Never did talk to Nancy. I think Nan and I would have hit it off. I was glad I didn’t because you would be here for another reason, and I told my kids if they show up, I’m surrendering because I may go down as a hero.”
Dude, you just copped to wishing you’d “hit it off” with the Speaker of the House of Representatives while carrying a firearm that could stop a garbage truck at top speed. Good luck getting out of this one.
The reason many of these nitwits thought they could get away with these antics is because their fearless leader has the same attitude: they are above the law and they are the true patriots. Trump, of course, has skirted the law all his life and bragged about it; why shouldn’t they be able to do the same?
I do not pretend to understand the moral universe; the arc is a long one, my eye reaches but little ways; I cannot calculate the curve and complete the figure by the experience of sight; I can divine it by conscience. And from what I see I am sure it bends towards justice.
Short version: You’ll get yours. You too, Trump.