They’re Not Really Into You — Charles P. Pierce.

Perhaps the most telling report from the House of Representatives as it prepared not to elect Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Van Heusen) Speaker of the House on its first ballot came during Rep. Pete Aguilar’s nominating speech on behalf of Democratic Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries. Aguilar pointed out that the proposed Speaker of the House never has proposed a bill that has become a law. Sitting together, Reps. Matt Gaetz and Lauren Boebert reportedly applauded. That is modern conservative Republicanism is miniature. Elect Jim Jordan — A Lawmaker Who Doesn’t Make Laws.

Jordan came up 20 votes short. That’s a lot of votes to make up. Some of them are very intractable; Reps. Don Bacon of Nebraska and Mario Diaz-Balart of Florida clearly want to eat Jordan’s heart in the marketplace. Both Steve Scalise and Kevin McCarthy voted for their common executioner, which really is an unfortunate blow against righteous political vengeance. (McCarthy couldn’t even do that right. Uncle Joe Cannon is embarrassed to share historical infamy with him.) Once it became clear that Jordan’s chances on the first ballot were as dead as Tuesday’s lunch, all restraint was lost. Rep. Lee Zeldin got three votes. The Three Toms— Emmer, Cole, and Massie— each picked up one. I’m not sure, but I think William Seward got a couple. Once the result became obvious, people got giddy. More significantly, 12 of the 18 Republicans who were elected from districts the president also carried voted for the insurrectionist non-lawmaker. Good luck next year, gang.

Jordan’s gifts for political persuasion are, shall we say, limited. His only real talent is for noise and bullying. So, if he’s going to swing enough of those votes to get his candidacy back on the rails, he’s either got to scare them to death, or he’s going to have to have Scalise and McCarthy whip votes for him. That, of course, would be another level of degradation for the both of them. I can’t think of anyone who deserves that more.

Onward.

Hell in the well.