Friday, July 15, 2016

Epic Trolling

Donald Trump has delayed the announcement of his VP pick because of the attack in France, but if it’s Gov. Mike Pence of Indiana, White House press secretary Josh Earnest has high praise for him.

“I know that Governor Pence did do some important work with the administration to expand Medicaid in his state,” Earnest told reporters when asked what Obama thinks of the governor. “That’s something President Obama has been encouraging Democratic and Republican governors across the country to do.”

Nicely done, Josh.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Craft Projection

Aw, poor guy.

MADISON, Wis. (AP) — Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker says he’s “thrifty” and is offering T-shirts for craft projects while asking donors to help pay off the $1.2 million debt from his short-lived presidential campaign.

The Republican sent an email to donors Sunday saying, “if there is one thing the American people learned about me during our presidential campaign, it is that I am thrifty.” He cites his use of coupons and shopping at sales racks.

The email doesn’t mention more than $90,000 a day was spent on his 70-day presidential run.

Walker’s email says anyone who donates $45 will receive a campaign T-shirt, but size and color requests won’t be honored because of a lack of resources.

Walker says the shirts can be framed or used for “crafty things” like a pillow or bag.

Or cleaning up cat vomit.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Monday, February 29, 2016

Il Douche

Gawker magazine set a trap for Trump.

trump-mussoliniIs Donald Trump a fascist? Experts, historians, and pundits have debated the question for months. One thing has been certain for a while now: He tweets like one. That’s why, last year, Gawker’s Ashley Feinberg created a Twitter bot that would post quotes from the writings and speeches of the Italian fascist dictator Benito Mussolini, but with all of them attributed to businessman and Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump. This morning, he retweeted that account.

Trump Retweets Mussolini 02-29-16Twitter is Trump’s preferred social media platform for direct communication with his followers, haters, and—most importantly—the journalists who obsessively cover his carnival-like presidential campaign. It’s where Trump goes to personally insult his enemies and opponents, but it’s also where he seeks evidence of his greatness, and regularly retweets (in his idiosyncratic style, quoting entire tweets rather than using the network’s built-in retweet tool) praise for himself.

When asked about it on Meet The Press, Mr. Trump shrugged it off and said it was an “interesting” quote.

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

No Fair

Dispatches from the playground indicate that Donald Trump will not show up at tomorrow night’s debate because Megyn Kelly of Fox News is a meanie and a poopy-head.  Nyah.

Fox News, in a rare display of genuine middle-school humor, hit back.

We learned from a secret back channel that the Ayatollah and Putin both intend to treat Donald Trump unfairly when they meet with him if he becomes president — a nefarious source tells us that Trump has his own secret plan to replace the Cabinet with his Twitter followers to see if he should even go to those meetings.


Tuesday, December 15, 2015

Monday, October 12, 2015

Open Carry

This is brilliant.

Students at the University Of Texas at Austin are planning to protest a new law that permits the concealed carry of handguns on campus — with dildos.

The “campus carry” law passed by the Texas legislature and signed by the Governor in June, requires UT Austin and the other campuses in the UT system to allow students to carry guns on campus. It gives the schools some discretion on how to implement the law.

The protest is designed to draw attention to the fact that carrying a dildo to class could be “prohibited expression” under university rules. The rules prohibit “any writing or visual image, or engage in any public performance, that is obscene.”

“You’re carrying a gun to class? Yeah well I’m carrying a HUGE DILDO. Just about as effective at protecting us from sociopathic shooters, but much safer for recreational play,” the organizer, Jessica Jin, wrote.

On Facebook, 1,800 people have registered for the event, which is scheduled for next August when the law goes into effect.

When you get right down to it, it really is all about who’s got the biggest one.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Return to Sender

In the in-box yesterday… and my terse reply.

Scott Walker Reply 07-13-15

Scott Walker says he’ll “work for you.”  But not if you’re gay, a woman, an immigrant, or a member of a union.  According to Robert Reich, he’s worked actively against you.

Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker announced his candidacy today. I view him as the most dangerous of all GOP hopefuls because he’s relatively young and charismatic, he’s David and Charles Koch’s favorite (which means unlimited funding by the nation’s most right-wing and irresponsible billionaires), and his positions on key issues are among the most extreme in the Republican field.

1. On immigration, Walker says he’s changed his mind on a path to legal status for undocumented immigrants and no longer supports the idea. He’s expressed skepticism toward legal immigration as well.

2. On gay marriage, Walker is calling for a constitutional amendment allowing states to ban it.

3. On abortion rights, Walker is pushing for a 20-week ban in Wisconsin with no exceptions for rape or incest. (In 2014 he told voters his previous legislation left “the final decision to a woman and her doctor.”

4. On “gun rights,” Walker is against any attempt to ban assault weapons or limit the ability of anyone to own a gun.

5. On labor unions, he is the GOP’s most virulent anti-labor candidate, having taken on teachers and other public employees and signing a “right-to-work” law. (He says his battles with labor leaders have prepared him to take on the Islamic State.)

6. He favors tax cuts over deficit reduction and public education. His most recent Wisconsin budget cuts taxes, requires steep cuts to education, and deepens the state deficit.

7. He has tried to weaken Wisconsin’s “open records” law by blocking press requests that have yielded some embarrassing finds in the past. (Consider how big an issue Republicans are making out of Hillary Clinton’s record on transparency.)

Yeah, figure it out.

Wednesday, June 10, 2015

Bearded Lady

From Politico:

Unmarried Republican Sen. Lindsey Graham says that if he becomes president, he will have a “rotating first lady.”

“Well, I’ve got a sister. She could play that role if necessary,” the 59-year-old South Carolinian presidential hopeful told the Daily Mail Online in an interview published Tuesday. “I’ve got a lot of friends. We’ll have a rotating first lady,” he added.

Too bad it will never happen… it would be fun to see his fantasy lady.

Friday, May 1, 2015


Rather than address the problem of immigration reform and border security, Rep. Steve King (R-IA) would rather override the Constitution and redefine citizenship.

The Civil War era’s 14th Amendment, granting automatic citizenship to any baby born on American soil, is a proud achievement of the Party of Lincoln.

But now House Republicans are talking about abolishing birthright citizenship.

A House Judiciary subcommittee took up the question Wednesday afternoon, prompted by legislation sponsored by Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) and 22 other lawmakers that, after nearly 150 years, would end automatic citizenship.

The 14th Amendment, King told the panel, “did not contemplate that anyone who would sneak into the United States and have a baby would have automatic citizenship conferred on them.” Added King, “I’d suggest it’s our job here in this Congress to decide who will be citizens, not someone in a foreign country that can sneak into the United States and have a baby and then go home with the birth certificate.”

Mr. King might want to get in touch with Gov. Bobby Jindal (R-LA) and ask him for some input.  The governor — who’s jonesing to run for president — was born in Baton Rouge six months after his parents arrived from India.

I actually think another bill being proposed by Rep. Jared Polis (D-CO) is much more appropriate:

Polis’ office issued a press release on Friday announcing the Restrain Steve King from Legislating Act, playing off King’s Restrain the Judges on Marriage Act. Polis’ fake bill would prevent King from “abusing taxpayer dollars by substituting the judgments of the nation’s duly serving judicial branch of government with his own beliefs,” according to the release.

That would get my vote.

Monday, February 9, 2015

Don’t Take A Brake

Amusing snark can often make the point better than a serious discourse.

Guys, I wanted to let you know about a personal decision I recently made. I don’t really feel like discussing it, but I want to put my position out there. Please be respectful. This is a really long post, but please read the whole thing.

I’m taking the brakes off my car. This isn’t a rash decision, so please listen up.

A few weeks ago I saw a car accident – two people went through an intersection at the same time. Both slammed on their brakes at the same time and collided. Fortunately no one was seriously injured.

But then it occurred to me – if they had just gone through the intersection, they wouldn’t have collided. The brakes CAUSED the accident!

So, I decided to do my own research and what I found was *staggering*: Hundreds of people every year are seriously injured by unnecessary braking. One time, I was driving in the snow and I just lightly tapped my brakes and it caused my car to COMPLETELY LOSE CONTROL. My brakes could have very easily gotten me killed. Even more astoundingly is how often brake pads will warp and distort rotors, causing bumpy rides and squeaky wheels.

And you know what? I also found that decades ago brakes weren’t even used! People would control their vehicle’s speed with downshifting and engine braking. Maybe it’s just coincidence, but back when engine braking was used there were almost no automotive fatalities. There were NEVER brake caused car accidents.

It was worth a shot.

Saturday, February 7, 2015

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Tantrum Time

Aw, poor babies:

In the Capitol after the speech, Republicans expressed displeasure at being jabbed by the president in the same speech where he asked for their cooperation.

“Probably not helpful when you rub the other guy’s nose in the dirt a little bit,” Rep. Tom Cole (R-OK), a close ally of Speaker John Boehner (R-OH), told reporters.

“Look, he’s allowed to take a victory lap but he ought to be thinking about what works — what’s gonna help me actually put points on the board,” Cole said. “How are you going to define your legacy in the last two years. Is this all about a third Obama term by winning the presidency? Then that would suggest you just want confrontation and the ability for your nominee to attack a ‘do nothing right wing Congress.'”

Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) called Obama’s jab — and overall speech — “disappointing,” pointing to the Democrats’ crushing defeat in the November congressional elections.

“If the president sticks to the tone that he chose tonight — if he sticks to anger and defiance towards the American voters, then perhaps he will veto bill after bill after bill after bill,” Cruz told a scrum of reporters. “But if he chooses to embrace and revel in gridlock and obstructionism that will be an unfortunate choice and I hope he reconsiders.”

These are the same folks who thought it was appropriate for one of them to yell “You lie!” at President Obama during an address to Congress, and now they’re miffed?  Oh, really?

I suspect this is exactly the reaction the president wanted.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015


President Obama’s only ad-lib last night.

The smile at the end says it all.

Transcript via TPM:

Claps could be then heard on the Republican side of the House chamber, and Obama paused.

“I know because I won both of them,” he deadpanned. It wasn’t in his prepared remarks.

Congressional Democrats applauded their approval.

Charlie Pierce would have preferred to hear this:

Mr. Speaker, Mr. Majority Leader, thank you for inviting me here tonight to discuss the state of our union. The state of our union is strong, and it’s all because of me, motherfkers, and no thanks to your sorry, wrinkled white asses. I did everything I could do to pull the economy out of the shallow grave your deregulatory frenzy and the two-term nitwit who preceded me dug for it. You stood there like squeaking eunuchs and blocked everything you could, and a narrow slice of the electorate gave you virtually unprecedented control over the entire national legislature. I don’t care. Your party has sold its soul and lost its mind. I’m not going anywhere. So I’m’a gonna do what I goddamn well please, because the state of our union is strong, motherfkers, and it’s all because of me. Nice to see you all again, though.

According to what I’ve seen, the president pretty much said that.

PS: How many ways will the GOP work their way around to calling the president “uppity” without actually saying the word?  Any bets?

Friday, December 5, 2014

The Right Prop

Props to these guys:

Two House Democrats have stood proudly this week in front of a cardboard cut-out of the late Republican President Ronald Reagan during floor speeches, using his paper likeness as a prop to urge the GOP to join their cause on issues like immigration and increasing gasoline taxes.

On Wednesday, Oregon Rep. Earl Blumenauer set up the life-sized Reagan behind him to urge the GOP to support his bill to raise federal gasoline by 15 cents. (Gas taxes were increased under Reagan in 1982.) The next day, Reagan showed up again on the House floor next to Illinois Rep. Luis Gutiérrez, a staunch advocate for overhauling the nation’s immigration laws. (Reagan passed a sweeping immigration reform bill in 1986.)

HT to C&L.

Friday, October 24, 2014

There Goes The Neighborhood

This is why the French had a revolution.

Dear Prudence,

I live in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in the country, but on one of the more “modest” streets—mostly doctors and lawyers and family business owners. (A few blocks away are billionaires, families with famous last names, media moguls, etc.) I have noticed that on Halloween, what seems like 75 percent of the trick-or-treaters are clearly not from this neighborhood. Kids arrive in overflowing cars from less fortunate areas. I feel this is inappropriate. Halloween isn’t a social service or a charity in which I have to buy candy for less fortunate children. Obviously this makes me feel like a terrible person, because what’s the big deal about making less fortunate kids happy on a holiday? But it just bugs me, because we already pay more than enough taxes toward actual social services. Should Halloween be a neighborhood activity, or is it legitimately a free-for-all in which people hunt down the best candy grounds for their kids?

—Halloween for the 99 Percent

Dear Halloween for the 99 percent:

“Dear Abby” had the answer to a similar situation: “You could move.”  May I add, go shove a Three Musketeers where it will do the most good.

Monday, October 20, 2014