Go on, laugh.
Go on, laugh.
It’s May the Fourth…
As Dog is my witness, I’m sure Han said, “May the fourth be with you.”
From the New York Times:
Trump asserted Monday that he would have rushed in to save the students and teachers of Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School from a gunman with an assault weapon, even if he was unarmed at the time of the massacre.
Speaking to a meeting of the country’s governors at the White House, Mr. Trump conceded that “you don’t know until you test it.” But he said he believed he would have exhibited bravery “even if I didn’t have a weapon, and I think most of the people in this room would have done that, too.”
Yeah, right. He’s a huge and well-documented coward.
The most frightened that Trump has ever seemed in public was perhaps a moment during a campaign rally in Dayton, Ohio, in March 2016.
The then-candidate was in the midst of speaking about manufacturing, when a man hopped the barrier behind him and rushed the stage. Trump stopped speaking, looked nervously behind him and grabbed and started to duck behind his lectern.
He was then swarmed by Secret Service agents, who steadied him.
The moment was later immortalized in a doctored video in which a seated Sen. Bernie Sanders yelling “boo” was edited into the frame the moment before Trump was spooked.
The only thing he would have tested at Marjory Stoneman Douglas was the cleanliness of his shorts.
I had two bags of Snickers mini-bars ready last night but there were no trick-or-treaters to give them to; the neighborhood association had cancelled the annual Halloween party.
Gee, what am I going to do with them?
Check out the latest fashion statement from Wisconsin.
The tweeted photo of the day features a Wisconsin voter wearing a strongly anti-GOP T-shirt and standing next to a delighted-looking House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.).
According to anonymous sources, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer really hates it that the White House is leaking stories to the news media, so he is trying to control it. (Audio auto-play at link.)
Spicer called staff into his office last week to reiterate his frustration with the leaks, sources with knowledge of the matter said. He informed them that the use of encrypted texting apps, like Signal and Confide, was a violation of the Federal Records Act.
Then, with White House counsel Don McGahn standing by, Spicer asked his staff to provide him with their cell phones so he could ensure they were not using those apps or corresponding privately with reporters.
Spicer asked to review both his staff’s government-issued and personal cell phones, the sources said. He also specifically asked his staff not to leak information about the meeting or his efforts to crack down on leaks to the media, one source said.
I love a good harmless prank as much as the next guy.
When President Donald Trump took the stage Friday at the Conservative Political Action Conference, he was greeted with cheers, chants of “USA,” and dozens of Russian flags.
Two young, progressive activists from DC, Jason Charter and Ryan Clayton with the group Americans Take Action, purchased tickets to the conference, and handed out nearly 1,000 flags to attendees as a prank. After they were thrown out of the conference, they told TPM they wanted to “shed light on an important issue”—namely, the drip of revelations of backchannel communications between the Russian government and the Trump campaign—and allow people to “get a laugh out of their day.”
It worked. Heh.
Can’t we all just get along?
Fun with spam scammers.
Cruz was responding to Obama’s recent criticism of Republicans suggesting there be a religious test for Syrian refugees seeking entrance to the country, a plan he called “shameful” and “not American” while in Turkey for the Group of 20 summit.
“If you want to insult me, you can do it overseas, you can do it in Turkey, you can do it in foreign countries. But I would encourage you, Mr. President, come back and insult me to my face,” Cruz said, staring directly into the camera.
Cruz got even more schoolyard, challenging the President to a debate any place, any time.
“Let’s have a debate on Syrian refugees, right now. We can do it anywhere you want. I would prefer it in the United States and not overseas,” the Republican presidential candidate said. “We’ll do it on any station.”
Word is they’ll do it next to the swing set.
President Obama had some fun with the GOP candidates whining about the CNBC debate last week.
President Obama on Monday mocked Republican presidential candidates as thin-skinned for lashing out at CNBC over the network’s handling of last week’s primary debate.
“They say, ‘when I talk to [Russian President Vladimir] Putin, he’s going to straighten out,'” he said at a Democratic National Committee fundraiser in New York City. “And then it turns out they can’t handle a bunch of CNBC moderators.”
“If you can’t handle those guys, I don’t think the Chinese and the Russians are going to be too worried about you,” Obama added.
A Nebraska woman identifying herself as the “ambassador” for plaintiffs “God and His Son, Jesus Christ,” is suing all homosexuals on Earth for breaking “religious and moral laws,” according to court records filed Tuesday.
In the suit, entered into the docket as Driskell v. Homosexuals, Sylvia Ann Driskell, 66, of Auburn, Nebraska, asks in a seven-page, neatly handwritten petition (PDF) that U.S. District Judge John M. Gerrard decide once and for all whether homosexuality is or isn’t a sin.
The suit doesn’t cite any case law under which a judge could make such a determination. In fact, it cites no court cases at all, quoting Webster’s Dictionary and numerous Bible verses, instead, to bolster Driskell’s central contention, which is:
“That homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet.”
Driskell writes, “I’m sixty six years old, an [sic] I never thought that I would see the day in which our Great Nation or Our Great State of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some peoples [sic] lewd behavior.”
The suit was noticed by several gay activists and writers, including Dan Savage, the advice columnist, who said, “Man, I hope I get deposed!” and Steven Payne, a self-described “gay feller,” who wrote in The Daily Kos:
“Brian (his husband) and I will be liquidating our assets in preparation for a certain loss. We anticipate the restitution ordered to this woman will take us down to our very last penny. In the meantime, our fear is so great we have ceased and desisted being homosexual.”
She will be hearing from my lawyer.
President Obama is going to Kenya in July to participate in a summit on global entrepreneurship… or so the White House would have you believe. I think he’s doing it just to get a rise out of people like this doofus.
“I think his trip back to Kenya is going to create a lot of chatter and commentary amongst some of the hard right, who still don’t see him as having been born in the U.S.,” Sununu said on the show “America’s Newsroom.”
“I personally think he’s just inciting some chatter on an issue that should have been a dead issue a long time ago,” he said.
It’s like throwing the invisible ball for the dog: hours of endless fun.
One of the reasons I would not make a good lawyer is because case histories and rulings do not strike me as page-turning can’t-put-it-down reading. Judges have to be restrained and very detailed in what they put in their opinions because the law and precedent demand it. But every now and then there comes a judge who can plant a kernel of humor. For example, Justice Elena Kagan in a Supreme Court ruling yesterday:
As the plurality must acknowledge, the ordinary meaning of “tangible object” is “a discrete thing that possesses physical form.” A fish is, of course, a discrete thing that possesses physical form. See generally Dr. Seuss, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish (1960).
Permission to gigglesnort, your honor.
A casual conversation between Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC) and Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) during a committee hearing:
Sen. Thom Tillis, R-N.C., asked Graham during a hearing if he was “working on grandchildren.” The Republican felt the need to invoke the colorful legacy of his fellow South Carolinian in his response.
“Not mine, but others, yeah,” Graham said. “I guess if I did the Strom thing it’s possible. But I better get started.”
When he was 66, the widowed Thurmond remarried to 22-year-old Nancy Moore in 1968. They had four children. Graham, who is single, is 59.
The chances of Lindsey Graham having grandchildren the same way Strom Thurmond got them are about the same as mine.
Sen. Lindsay Graham (R-SC) has fantasies of men.
South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, who is toying with the idea of a presidential bid, joked in a private gathering this month that “white men who are in male-only clubs are going to do great in my presidency,” according to an audio recording of his comments provided to CNN.
I’m sure he was joking, but just in case, boys, update your profile on Manhunt.
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) gets the pot question… again:
Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) said asking whether a politician has ever tried marijuana is a “worthless question” in American politics.
Rubio, a potential 2016 candidate for president, has consistently dodged the question about if he experimented with the drug as a younger man. In an interview that aired Monday from ABC News-Yahoo News, Rubio reiterated that answering the question honestly is a lose-lose.
“Here is the problem with that question in American politics,” he said. “If you say that you did, suddenly there are people out there saying it is not a big deal, look at all these successful people who did it. And I don’t want my kids to smoke marijuana. And I don’t want other people’s kids to smoke marijuana. I don’t think there is a responsible way to recreationally use marijuana. On the other side of it, if you tell people that you didn’t, they won’t believe you. So it is just a worthless question.”
Translation: Of course I lit up but there’s no way I’m gonna tell you I did.
The very idea of Marco Rubio stoned makes me giggle.